November 22, 2012
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The Ghost of Thanksgiving’s Past

Well. No-Not a REAL ghost.  I just needed a fun title, did it work?  Eh. I hope to get better at this.

Thanksgiving.  What an awesome time of year.  A day dedicated to being thankful.  2012 has been an amazing year and I have so much gratitude.  This year on the day before Thanksgiving, my sweet baby turned four months old [mushy letter, and cute pictures to follow in our four month update].

My mom brought us up on big holidays – Lots of family, lots of pretty things and lots of FOOD.  Even though my sister and I follow some sort of clean eating diet, Thanksgiving is a day where we eat foods that we don’t typically want to… In moderation.  I don’t plan on stuffing myself silly – there is a turkey that gets that 😉 so here are some pictures of Thanksgiving’s Past:

Oso’s First Turkey Day 2010

Last year I was overwhelmed my morning sickness.  I remember thinking “I will NEVER do this AGAIN” – This year that is a distant memory and my view has been completely changed. My beautiful four month old is and was worth IT ALL and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.  I can’t wait to update you on the treats of the day.  I’m planning my very own Turkey Trot 5k followed by food, football and love, love love.

 

November 19, 2012
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My Happy Place

So it has begun.  Trips to my happy place, just me, my ipod, some awesome workout clothes, and weights for days ❤

It has been 4 months since I have visited this place, and they said Rome wasn’t built in a day but this building was:

As I drove the very familiar bath suddenly there was this new massive glass building – not there the last day I was at the gym… now it was – the path is so unchanged that it looks like it popped up overnight.  The picture was taken in my car = thus the blurry-ness.  Of course I’m sure this building wasn’t built in a day but it wasn’t there four months ago but everything was heart warmingly similar:

My locker:

My favorite cardio machine:

The weights – I love weightlifting.  I absolutely love it.  Probably my favorite thing to do at my gym is weight-lift.   I feel so strong and awesome and I love looking at the boys who think they know what they are doing but have the wrong form haha:

[This is one of the many weight sections, but I personally LOVE this one because it is near the stretchy section – unfortunately I do not have a picture]

It was awesome to lift a bunch of heavy weights – including my favorite tri workout (pulldowns).  It reminds me that I would like to invest in heavier weights for at home use.

My current goal is strength   I used to be a female muscle machine, now I’m more like a milk machine with hints of strength   I know this will take time, and I still have to find my complete groove, so thanks for joining on my journey – I have a FOUR month update (I know can you BELIEVE it!?) coming up, so stay tuned.

My body was amazingly sore the day after this trip. With the holidays it feels good to get back here and get back at it. What has changed?  I’m in and out.  Now that I have a beautiful baby at home I get in – go crazy and leave.  No more walking around taking my time, enjoying the scenery now I work my butt off – maximize time so I can get home to this:

I LIVE for our late night cuddle sessions, I used to want to be at the gym forever and sit in the steamroom until my pores screamed “get me out!” — Now I’m planning on being efficient so I get home and hug it out with him and my other two boys.

Happy Monday!  This short week is a great week to fit in some exercise so that you don’t feel as guilty indulging a little.

xoxo

November 19, 2012
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DIY – Burlap Tree

Tis the season – We start decorating for the holidays right around Thanksgiving and my mom couldn’t resist putting up her tree so Evan could see it:

He is a huge fan of lights so he loved the colors.  This is the first year my mom has had a colored tree since I was little.  My sister is less than thrilled by Evan adores it.  I’m sure it reminds him of Baby Einstein a major favorite these days.

Evan got to wear his Patagonia hoodie today, as with all hoodies he was not the biggest fan but he sure did look cute:

You can always tell when Hector takes photographs because we always are bleached out 😉  I think we look like vamps (Did anyone see Breaking Dawn?  We haven’t yet – Maybe on Turkey Day).

We hung out with some wonderful friends, did a bit of shopping and used some creative juices to create a festive burlap tree!

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • A tomato plant cadge
  • Christmas Lights
  • Burlap
  • Sewing pins or a hot glue gun
  • A bow or some ribbon
  • Optional:  An awesome interested golden retriever named Gandalf

Total cost for us? $0.00 Burlap was re-used from my Baby Shower – we always have extra Christmas lights and my dad is a tomato farmer 😉

All you need to do is string the lights in and around the cone:

Cover in burlap – we pinned with sewing pins:

And add a bow on top – I created my own from some leftover ribbon from last year and just like that:

We will just cut off the excess burlap for a more polished look.  Evan loves it:

he is so excited he is moving to fast for the camera.

Happy Holiday Decorating!

xoxo

November 17, 2012
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A Pregnancy Anniversary

One year ago today I woke up feeling funny.  If I was confident about anything last year, it was knowing my body.  I had never been so in tune with it, being so dedicated to its health and well being… that morning I woke up and really thought about how off I had been feeling for about a week or two.  It was Hector’s day off and I asked him to take me to work.  As he drove me to work I was experiencing a headache and a slight panic in my chest.  You see, I had this app on my phone which tracked my periods and it was telling me I was about 7 days late.  Well, I’d always had a longer cycle and my phone was brand new so it didn’t have any of my old data stored but I figured it wasn’t longer than 37 days so I decided to tell Hector that maybe we should grab a pregnancy test, or two.

The look of fear and panic crossed Hector’s face as I mentioned it.  We had JUST gotten married and were planning on doing a million things before children.  We wanted a house, I wanted to start a new career and continue working on fitness related things.  I had just gotten an awesome job, that I loved (a part-time that I wished would turn into full-time, on top of my full-time job) so babies was the last thing on our list, yet here we were at Walgreens buying a first response pregnancy test.  This was the result:

Our reaction?  Disbelief.  Yep, utter disbelief.  In fact, because the line on the first test I took was so faint, I actually thought it was negative at first.  If I thought the look of fear had crossed his fact when I asked Hector to buy the test, those double lines were life changing and the look on Hector’s face said it all.  This was the most silent day of his life, I still wonder what he was thinking that day… I know what I was thinking.. “OMG OMG, this is NUTS I’M NOT READY I’M NOT READY OMG… ”

I’m also not going to lie, we weren’t jumping for joy.  I still feel guilty about this some days (but am working to let it go).  I always thought the day I found out I was pregnant would be a day of absolute joy – this was not the case for us.  Like I said, we weren’t prepared and it was a complete and utter shock.  That day I told my mom and my sister, my mom seemed pretty excited but this was curbed a bit because of my reaction to the news.

We didn’t tell anyone but our closest friends and my parents and sister for a very long time.  I announced I was pregnant when I was about 13 weeks along because I feared disappointment from work colleagues and those who knew a career was what I wanted to focus on.  Looking back, this was so silly.  I was ashamed of being pregnant, why?  Because so many people would tell me before I got pregnant that having a baby meant your life was over.  This mentality seems so backward to me now.  But a year ago after taking that test, I indeed felt my life was over.  I know now, that it has been the greatest thing to ever happen to me.  Evan has given me this wonderful gift, I want to be successful now more then ever.  I want him to be proud of me.

Needless to say we both eventually were very excited about our baby:

This year has been filled with:

– My truth about the early days of pregnancy.

– Daily belly rubs with this stuff – I used about 8 tubs of it… YEP it was a worth-while investment too as this girl didn’t get any stretch marks – But, a disclaimer:  If I had, it would have been difficult to deal with I’m sure, but at the same time they are scars that would have proven I cooked a healthy beautiful baby and they would have been worth it, I have tons of them from high school anyway at least there would have been a reason for these.  At the same time, the vain part of me thanks God every day I didn’t get them, my body was very good to me I credit it to steady weight gain, tons and TONS of water and this butter – I also didn’t have ONE itchy day.  Not one.  I thank my beautiful BFF Nicole for this stuff.  Some other pregnancy must have for me?  Here.

– Tears.  Happy tears, sad tears, I want his over tears… Grateful tears… Everything tears.

– A gender reveal via cupcakes (they were filled with blue frosting)

– Beautiful baby shower.

– Good days, not so good days and lots of faith.

– Fabulous friends and family.

and in July of this year… My beautiful baby boy:

He has now been in our lives for four 17 weeks.  Happy 17 weeks my little love.

 

 

 

November 16, 2012
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Dear Pregnant Self…

A letter to my Pregnant self –

Dear Pregnant Self:

You are beautiful even on the days you don’t feel like it.  Your round belly with that baby bouncing around, that is what life is all about.  Your belly will stretch, and you will have moments when you doubt if you are going to be any good at that “mom” thing you have been dreaming about.  You will be.  Your baby will find comfort in your arms and enjoy the warmth of your chest and the sound of your heartbeat more then any other place on the planet.  After all, he is the only one who knows what your heartbeat sounds like from the inside.

I know when this journey started, it was the shock of your life.  You were scared, even guilty for not wanting this right now.  It is OK to feel like that, it will be a HUGE change.  It is OK to have those feelings, some people plan this, you didn’t so your doubts are justified and you have no clue what lies ahead… Again, this wasn’t a planned path for you, you have the right to mourn how your life will change, how you won’t be job hunting right now, or how your honeymoon will have to wait.  Luckily I’m here to tell you – it is worth it, it was worth it.  Stop beating yourself up for conflicting emotions… things happen, you aren’t a bad person you will love your son more then anything.  The guilt of this needs to pass, you are allowed your feelings.

Your clothes will fit again, but you will also learn that the silly things like worrying about when you are going to “loose all your pregnancy weight” pale in comparison to the wonderful new job you have.  Enjoy.Every.Second.  Because pregnancy flies, and when the baby comes into the world, you’ll have to share him.

You will love your baby.  More then you could have ever possibly imagined.  All your days of daydreaming about when he would be here, those happy thoughts will never do justice to just how perfect your baby is in your arms.  You will never feel more complete and your heart will expand, it is truly just the biggest blessing.

Give yourself a break, you are cooking a life.  Sleep when you need sleep, let people open doors, and let the husband bring you food.  Give in to your wants a little, don’t go crazy but have a extra spoonful of peanut butter if you want it or have a piece of dark chocolate for desert.  It is ok!  Spend extra time with your husband, find comfort in his arms.  Loose all fear because most of it will come naturally, I have found if you stress – that is when it doesn’t come naturally and seems difficult.

There is no such thing as touching your belly too much.  When the baby is here you will want to hold him and kiss him, you can’t LOVE a baby too much, so touch away, talk and take LOTS of pictures who cares if your face is a little puffy – you are retaining water.  Who cares if you are wearing a bella band, no one can tell.  Every time that baby stretches he is thanking you for keeping him safe, warm and healthy.  His love for you will be unconditional.  Trust me.  Take this time to connect, because before you know it (I know, it seems sometimes it takes forever, but trust me time is fleeting) he WILL be here.

Your friends and family are amazing.  Let them tell you good things, appreciate them, listen to their advice, YOU REALLY AREN’T THAT BIG.  Even if your were a house, let them tell you – you look beautiful because you do, you are carrying a child.  Let perfect strangers smile at you.  You’ll be the one smiling at pregnant people remembering what a special time it was.  Enjoy it.

Don’t feel bad when you feel scared, lonely, or doubtful.  Try to push past this though, because like I said, it is all worth it.  Go with the flow, breath, take a trip to the yoga mat… breathe. Soak up the you time, take a walk hand-in-hand with your hubby, get your nails painted, rub too much belly butter on that belly(it works! I swear), DRINK TONS OF WATER, go for a massage – the happier and healthier you are the better for baby.

It will feel great to lay on your tummy again, and it will take a bit of time but you will be able to touch your toes and do situps.  Your ab muscles have muscle memory – you are strong.  Even when it seems like you can’t possibly carry this weight anymore, trust me, you can AND it is WORTH IT (how many times have I said this?).

As much as you may have seen your body change, you have time to reclaim it.  Because you are a strong, determined young woman who gets what she wants.  Your priorities will change, but if something is important to you, you’ll make it happen.  You are going to be a mom, take that in.

Love,

Postpartum Me – Someone who will call me mom is stirring.

November 15, 2012
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A Morning [In Pictures]

So I’ve been trying to put together a typical day for Evan and I.  So far I haven’t gotten past 6 a.m. HOWEVER, I did take some pictures so I thought I’d share those, since I’ll have to re-take them for when I can finally get through a day – or a morning of typing.

So here it goes.  I get up around 5:45 – 6:00 a.m. – Lets see if you can fill in the blanks:

Oook ok, I ‘ll give you a hint, the most versatile oil I own – for my dog. I plan to blog about the MANY uses of this oil. Ah-maze. He LOVES it, and it has made an EXTREME difference in his usually coarse coat. Coconut Oil – TJ’s 5.99 ❤

Prep – Work clothes, yoga clothes, baby clothes…

Not photographed:  hair products, beauty products, ME, snuggle time, rush time, packing, the two bags + infant and infant carrier…. Super mom arms, itunes, the banana I grab to eat and the frazzledness of yours truly.

Haha, this was fun.  ❤

November 12, 2012
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Weekends – Starting Monday’s Off Right

Well, it is Monday.  I’m starting my day with an awesome cup of coffee in my favorite mug:

Some quality time on my yoga mat for Namaste November, and of course my pump (I’m working on a “day in the life”) and reviewing my weekend:

Saturday started with an early morning Veteran’s day run.  It was nice and small and I even ran into a few old friends = perfection. PR? No, but that’s ok!

Then there was this:

Lots of time with baby… and I mean… Lots:

 

I love weekends because of the extra time with this nugget.

I got in a bit’o’sweatime and lots of family time.  Happy Birthday Grandma!

A bit more baby:

A Bear’s Game that was way-less than stellar. Homeland which hasn’t disappointed in weeks… Hubby time.  Tons of gratitude for life.  A great sermon at church and countless thanks for those who have served our country.

Be greatful. Be thankful.

Happy Monday!

On the sweatlist for today?  MAYBE my first postpartum trip to the GYM!  Or maybe some extra yoga for my noodle legs.  Either way.  It will be awesome.

Stay warm!

 

 

 

 

 

 

November 11, 2012
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Race Day – Prep

So we are in running season.  For me running season starts early September and goes though November.  My sister mixes with the Santa Hustlers and braves the Chicago cold in December but it takes a lot of outside running in the cold to prepare my lungs for distance runs in the cold.  My legs end up on the tredmill in that type of weather and I hit the steam room after because the thought out outside gives me a chill.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’ll hit the pavement but my preferred method on cold days is inside running for the simple fact I’m not a fan of cold sweats 😉

Most race days for me are filled with happy anxiety!  The night before I’ll prep my stuff, put together my gear-check bag and pray that I can sleep at night:

 

 

I’ve learned for short races like 5k’s I don’t do a gear check.  Some small races don’t even give you an opportunity to do this (like a small race I did yesterday).  Longer races like the half or marathon it is a MUST for me to have a gear check bag.  This is what is typically in my “longer race” bags:

  • FLIP FLOPS! — My feet always swell a bit when I run, I love the moment after the race that I can rip those puppies off and slide into some feather light flip flops.
  • Cell Phone – I don’t have an iphone so I run races with my ipod (guess what phone is next on my list? lol unlike my husband, I’m apple fan).
  • Motrin – Yes I usually pack an anti-inflammatory in case my knee, back or whatever hurts a bit after the run.  Better safe then sorry.
  • Goodies – Some sort of protein bar or a good-to-me fruit bar (Larabar, homemade protein balls, a good old fashioned banana) – After the marathon the last thing I wanted to do was eat but after distances of 6-13 miles I’m usually pretty hungry!
  • Nice dry – weather appropriate shirt or shirt and lightweight jacket.  What?  I sweat! lol

I like to be prepared, and I don’t fear losing anything out of my gear check bag (but I also don’t leave valuables in there – my phone’s priceless photos? they are automatically uploaded by photobucket).

When race-day morning pops up and I roll out of bed way too early, I sip some coffee, down the water and have a pre-race breakfast which is almost always:  1 slice whole grain bread, tablespoon peanut butter (guestimate, I don’t measure) and banana slices.

I get my stretch on, and try to get my hubs to take a picture:

 

Because when I attempt – I forget things like the bib:

 

I also get pictures of my knarly toes… Poor things went through h-e double hockey sticks last running season.

I always have a fear I am going to forget something… like my shoes or my bib, how about you?

My sister has, in fact, forgotten a bib before and had to go ALL THE WAY home, to retrieve it.  Good thing she started that day way early:

Look at my itty bitty baby!!

*sigh* I love races, they are a great way to get you moving.  I always try to train to beat PRs and they are a great way to help you stay active.  Next year, we will be entering races that include jogging strollers so I can introduce my race prep to my little dude – I can already see his gear bag:  diapers, wipes, something to chew on and maybe so baby sunglasses.

How do you prep for race day?  Do you get race-day jitters?

 

 

November 6, 2012
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Time.Love.Loss

Four years ago I wrote this:

Realizes life is just too short. Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself “I can’t wait until this day is over!” It’s sad how we take life for granted until it’s over. What some people would give to get those wasted days back. Tomorrow I am going to take the time to breathe a little deeper, to watch the leaves fall from the trees, enjoy my cup of coffee for the taste and not the caffeine to keep me going, I am going to hug people just a little tighter to show them I really appreciate them being in my life and just to feel their touch, I am going to think twice about getting upset that a car cuts me off or that an Attorney at work is giving me too much work for one day, I am going to look at my textbooks a little longer and appreciate all the hard work it took to get them into my hands to be a tool to my future knowledge, I am going to listen intently when people speak because I’d wish they’d do the same for me… Don’t dwell on the past, and don’t live in the future, live for the now and today. Enjoy family, friends and what makes you happy. At the end of the day we don’t know what is going to happen the next so let’s just cherish every moment. Keep your head high… Truly live each day as it’s your last. Love too much, Listen intently, Laugh like you mean it, kiss with passion, and hug tightly…

Rest In Peace Lionel. 😦

Lionel’s brother posted how today marked four years, and I felt breath literally leave my body.  Four years?  How did that happen?  How does life go on when you lose someone way too soon?  Evan gives me that want to live each day like it is our last.  To enjoy every second, even the sucky ones where he is crying and you can’t seem to comfort him quickly enough.  Then I think about Lionel, and how his son is four years older.  Without his father and my heart breaks.  It is that whole, “life isn’t fair” thing that runs through my head.  Everyone has these stores of lives ended too early.  A dear friend of mine wrote me earlier about a loss in her family (maybe not blood, but my definition of family exceeds those blood lines, just ask my friends… I’d do anything for them) and again my heart feels heavy.  I don’t know that family, but I know my friend.  I know her heart is heavy and pained and I just want to take it all away.

One thing I’m terrible with is loss, I simply cannot cope.  Even when all else around you continues, I feel like those moments are the only moments that last forever.  A heavy heavy heart, mourning, missing.

So friends, with a heavy heart I remind you to drink your coffee.  Cuddle with loved ones.  Let your baby drool all over your face and pull your hair 😉 (Evan’s favorites lately).  Just when you think you have enough cuddles for the day… Cuddle some more.  Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.  Appreciate, breathe and soak it in.  Today truly is a blessing.  Even when you are at work staring at what you are doing saying “ugh, where IS 5:00” (or the equivalent) remember this is your life and 5:00 will come and it will go but those wasted minutes… we never get back.

Stay positive people.

And for all our lost loved ones.  We miss you, we celebrate your life, but we miss your tangible presence.  ❤

November 3, 2012
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Next step carrier

Wow.  So Evan just grows by the minute, I swear.

I’ve mentioned before that I spent HOURS AND HOURS researching baby products before Evan and I really loved every second and I’m quite pleased with many of the products I own.  One product I still have a ton of love for is the Moby:

Evan still loves it, and now that he is so strong he can pop his head out and look around and I can continue to multitask (like blow drying my hair in this picture).  However, my dear hubby isn’t a fan of the Moby.  He hasn’t used it more then once and refuses to wear it in public.  I guess the tying of the fabric freaks him out a little, but I don’t mind looking like a Ninja:

The only downfall about the Moby is tying it.  It is a lot of fabric and so taking it on and off isn’t super simple, so Hector and I decided it was time to upgrade to the next carrier.  I still plan on using the Moby at home, but we think the Ergo will be more user friendly for the future and for Hector when he is home on weekdays with Evan.

So here is what we got:

(source)

Dads wearing babys? I swoon.  We bought the one with black and camel lining on amazon and it will be delivered by the amazon fairy early next week.  We also got a great deal on it, which I’m all about, I keep an eye on prices and swoop in when prices are low.

Why didn’t we get the Ergo sooner?  Simple.  I had a summer baby and the Ergo doesn’t hold a newborn until they have good head control without the infant insert which runs about $40.00 which is MORE money then I paid for my Moby, that I love and wouldn’t ever live without.  I also read a lot of reviews that sort of turned me off on top of reading that it could keep a baby too warm.  With record heat weeks when Evan was born, I decided against it.

  But with winter approaching and him being difficult to hold with one arm and wanting to get things done, but keep him close… Bam. The Ergo should be worth every single penny.  I want E as close to me as I can have him when I’m home because I spend so much time away from him.  Babywearing has worked so well for us so far and I hope to have Hector jump aboard the train.

There are so many fun carriers out there and I really wanted to get a girly one like the mei tai carrier or the Beco butterfly but I want Hector to feel comfortable wearing Evan and I’m not sure he’d be big on the patterns 😉 and our budget doesn’t allow for us to have hundreds of dollars worth of baby carriers (but the next baby I might have to get the mei tai and will definitely get the baby k’tan). Next baby? yeah, its a ways a way but I think we will have to have another – don’t hold me to it.  We are done discussing that lol.

Do you baby wear?  Do you love it?  Have the ERGO?  ❤