A letter to my Pregnant self –
Dear Pregnant Self:
You are beautiful even on the days you don’t feel like it. Your round belly with that baby bouncing around, that is what life is all about. Your belly will stretch, and you will have moments when you doubt if you are going to be any good at that “mom” thing you have been dreaming about. You will be. Your baby will find comfort in your arms and enjoy the warmth of your chest and the sound of your heartbeat more then any other place on the planet. After all, he is the only one who knows what your heartbeat sounds like from the inside.
I know when this journey started, it was the shock of your life. You were scared, even guilty for not wanting this right now. It is OK to feel like that, it will be a HUGE change. It is OK to have those feelings, some people plan this, you didn’t so your doubts are justified and you have no clue what lies ahead… Again, this wasn’t a planned path for you, you have the right to mourn how your life will change, how you won’t be job hunting right now, or how your honeymoon will have to wait. Luckily I’m here to tell you – it is worth it, it was worth it. Stop beating yourself up for conflicting emotions… things happen, you aren’t a bad person you will love your son more then anything. The guilt of this needs to pass, you are allowed your feelings.
Your clothes will fit again, but you will also learn that the silly things like worrying about when you are going to “loose all your pregnancy weight” pale in comparison to the wonderful new job you have. Enjoy.Every.Second. Because pregnancy flies, and when the baby comes into the world, you’ll have to share him.
You will love your baby. More then you could have ever possibly imagined. All your days of daydreaming about when he would be here, those happy thoughts will never do justice to just how perfect your baby is in your arms. You will never feel more complete and your heart will expand, it is truly just the biggest blessing.
Give yourself a break, you are cooking a life. Sleep when you need sleep, let people open doors, and let the husband bring you food. Give in to your wants a little, don’t go crazy but have a extra spoonful of peanut butter if you want it or have a piece of dark chocolate for desert. It is ok! Spend extra time with your husband, find comfort in his arms. Loose all fear because most of it will come naturally, I have found if you stress – that is when it doesn’t come naturally and seems difficult.
There is no such thing as touching your belly too much. When the baby is here you will want to hold him and kiss him, you can’t LOVE a baby too much, so touch away, talk and take LOTS of pictures who cares if your face is a little puffy – you are retaining water. Who cares if you are wearing a bella band, no one can tell. Every time that baby stretches he is thanking you for keeping him safe, warm and healthy. His love for you will be unconditional. Trust me. Take this time to connect, because before you know it (I know, it seems sometimes it takes forever, but trust me time is fleeting) he WILL be here.
Your friends and family are amazing. Let them tell you good things, appreciate them, listen to their advice, YOU REALLY AREN’T THAT BIG. Even if your were a house, let them tell you – you look beautiful because you do, you are carrying a child. Let perfect strangers smile at you. You’ll be the one smiling at pregnant people remembering what a special time it was. Enjoy it.
Don’t feel bad when you feel scared, lonely, or doubtful. Try to push past this though, because like I said, it is all worth it. Go with the flow, breath, take a trip to the yoga mat… breathe. Soak up the you time, take a walk hand-in-hand with your hubby, get your nails painted, rub too much belly butter on that belly(it works! I swear), DRINK TONS OF WATER, go for a massage – the happier and healthier you are the better for baby.
It will feel great to lay on your tummy again, and it will take a bit of time but you will be able to touch your toes and do situps. Your ab muscles have muscle memory – you are strong. Even when it seems like you can’t possibly carry this weight anymore, trust me, you can AND it is WORTH IT (how many times have I said this?).
As much as you may have seen your body change, you have time to reclaim it. Because you are a strong, determined young woman who gets what she wants. Your priorities will change, but if something is important to you, you’ll make it happen. You are going to be a mom, take that in.
Postpartum Me – Someone who will call me mom is stirring.