I know most of my posts are very parent centered right now, but that is because that is where I am at in my life right now.  My life is feeding baby whenever he wants, changing dirty diapers, getting spit up on, drooled on and wearing my awesome studio pants everyday.  I’m also loving every single second and really have never been happier.  I was totally that person who dreaded changing dirty diapers before I had Evan, and now it doesn’t bother me in the SLIGHTEST bit, it really doesn’t, sure the smell isn’t awesome but my baby needs it and I’m more than happy and willing to do that for him.

my mom and my sister

Becoming a mom, and I know I have said this before, makes me appreciate my mom even more.  Before Evan, I didn’t think this was possible either.  I love my mother.  She is the strongest, most selfless person I have ever met in my life.  She is beyond loving, caring and thoughtful.  She gave us such an amazing childhood, I sorta brag to my husband about how awesome my childhood was, because it was.  Yes my parents divorced, and that wasn’t fun for about 3 seconds but everything else is CRAZY fond memories.  Some childhood (and even adulthood) facts:

– You could always tell what holiday was coming next.  My mom would have decorations for Halloween up early, Thanksgiving decor went up Nov. 1, (we totally had paper turkeys around the house and a cornucopia every year).  The Friday after Thanksgiving, Christmas decor was out lights were on the bushes or garland around the walkways… Valentines day decorations were up for the longest, there was always shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day and we always ALWAYS colored Easter eggs and hand fun new Easter outfits.

– She never missed an event.  Basketball games, softball games, graduations, special dinners, and even my Marathon.  Even though she cried when I told her I was for sure doing the Marathon because she was scared for me.  I may not have seen her on the course but she hugged me at the finish line. I even told her I think I might do the Marathon next year, and she definitely doesn’t want me to, but if I did… I know she’d be there.

– She taught me the importance of faith.  I don’t push the bible, but I’m a very spiritual person.  I thank God for everything in my life.  My mom has always taught me the importance, and how even in the toughest of times, you can make it though.  God never gives you what you can’t handle and things just work out, even when you don’t think they will.

– She always made me feel important, and reminds me how beautiful and capable I am.  She still does this, and has no idea who truly helpful it is.  I’ve always been hard on myself (it is something that is a constant struggle) but she always makes it a point to point out that she thinks I’m doing a great job.

– She is supermom.  We never knew if she was in pain, and she always gave us just enough room to make our own mistakes without smothering us.

– She taught us the importance of finances.  She didn’t break it down like an accountant but I’ll never forget the first summer I worked.  I saved enough money to buy her and myself matching Tiffany’s bracelets.  I still remember going with Toni to buy them.  It felt AMAZING to give her that gift, I saved every penny and who did I want to share it with?  My best friend, and I did and it was the best material gift I have ever given anyone.  The next summer, I saved and bought my first car, cash.  And now, I was able to save enough for my 12 week maternity leave — She won’t take credit for this… but it is because she instilled in me that saving for things you care about are worth it.

– She looked awesome doing it.  Yeah I’m a little vain.  My mom had an awesome figure, awesome hair and always a mani and pedi 😉 – I remember hanging out in the kids section at Bally’s.

This list can go on forever.

Exactly a week from my birthday is my Mom’s birthday.  I am reminded about the importance of birthdays because of my new son.  I know have a new appreciation of why they are so important.  Every year my mom asks for less and less.  She doesn’t want gifts, she doesn’t want to be remembered.  This breaks my heart, because she is such an important person to me.  I want to celebrate her EVERY day.  I know that I can be a good mom, because of her.  She has given me countless ideas on what to do without saying a word.  She has and continues to raise us with such grace and I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

This year buying a gift for my mom has been so difficult, I’m even late (her birthday was Tuesday).  How do you get anything that is worth ANYTHING when you have such love and appreciation for someone?  I can’t even put down it words how grateful I am for all she has done for me both past and present.  She STILL does things for me and I’m married and with child.

If I can be half the mother my mom was/is to me, Evan will be a very lucky baby.  He really will.  I wish my mom could understand and appreciate how awesome she is, because I really will never be able to find the words.

Anyway, another rambling blog… But I’m just so grateful.

Happy Birthday, Mom.  I love you so much it hurts (literally, I have that throat burning sensation that comes with tears right now).