2020 is the year my sweet baby Chris, turned one and my sweet big boy Ev turned 8.

This year with Chris has been one of intense ups and downs (he was born, he is thriving, he’s walking and talking! but there was also a literal pandemic, murder hornets and brain eating amebas…), but he has always been the constant undying bright light. I will NEVER be able to put into words the amount of joy this baby has brought to our lives. He is everything, to all of us. He has fit SEAMLESSLY into our family (not our laundry situation, but def to our family). He’s made me realize, once again, my children are my LIFE. They are my right now identity. I don’t know me without them and while some people will say that’s wrong, I don’t really care, to me it is right, to me it is perfect and to me I have never been happier (yup pandemic life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and I drop a lot of Fbombs but man, give me another baby now… I LIVE for this season of life).

You see, and I am fully aware this is not true for all (and THAT IS OK!!!! We do not all need to feel the way I do), motherhood is what I was meant to do. It is what I was called to do. I literally have positive chemical reactions in my brain, fuzzy feelings in my soul and overwhelming positive vibes in my life when I have a baby. When I nurse this baby, when I wear, hold, smell, even when I yell when bitten by baby… I was MEANT for this. But back to C, this was supposed to be his and Ev’s post:

One is laughing, one is running, one is talking (WOW, Da, hi) one is wild in the very best way. One is reminding me how intense baby fever is. One is still snuggling, still nursing, still hugging you every single chance we get.

Now eight. Eight is unbelievable.

Eight is funny, eight is kind. Eight is a lover, a reader, a running partner on occasion, a helper ALL THE TIME, a friend, obviously big brother, and pretty much everything >> no actually everything. He’s the one who made me a mom. I’ve never been more proud.

Eight is resilient, eight is independent, eight is shy but eight is brave.

Eight is also attitude. It’s funny to catch the attitude, then he gives you that heartbreaking smile:

One and Eight (and almost six) have been my lifelines. They were from the moment their little bodies grew in my womb and landed in my arms but man, this past several months has taught me there are no more important relationships, in life, than these. My love for them grows fiercer every. single. day. My drive to be the best at everything I do is only heightened because I know they are watching.

They are my guiding lights, ironic huh? As I’m supposed to be the guide, the protector. But children, they hold all the answers. Life is simple. WE, us. Us adults. Complicate it. You go after your goals, while uplifting others, you lay punches on loved ones because sometimes relationships are hard, but five seconds later you guard your family fiercely and you make up. You teach one another to be kind but sometimes kindness is lost in emotion, so you also teach forgiveness. You teach grace, you teach your kids to be proud of who they are and standup for those around them. We teach them that they are privileged, not all are, they are inherently lucky. They have taught me to listen. To stop and just listen.

Eight and One (and almost six) are my life. Eight and One and almost six plus my other Thirty something male in the house, we are the closesest we’ve ever been. I am so lucky to be locked up with the sweetest, most loving, growing, thriving, wonderful boys.

And also, happy belated birthdays my July babies. I love you.