Learning to Deal

So, there are many many moms on this planet.  There are many many many different ways to parent.  Why do people get on such a high horse on how to raise OTHER people’s children?  I think it is wonderful that some parents offer advice, but the manner in which they do it totally can be refined sometimes.  Especially with new moms, who think about everything before they do it.

I can’t get over how little he was 10 weeks ago!

So this may be one of those blogs that turns people off/or away but I’m super curious about this.  As I have been home with the baby the past 10 weeks.  I have been reading a lot of mommy blogs, and mommy boards.  I love that people are passionate about parenting and I respect a lot of people’s ideas but I have noticed that some people are downright mean!

I’m part of a mommy group, and I think the more personal comments there are more warranted as we have grown to know each other, and some posts warrant a little more passion that others.  However, in reading some blogs I find some people’s comments to be hurtful and I’m pretty positive there is not relationship there.  Also, I have found quiet a passion for people to bash others for things they may have, or give their child.  Who CARES how much I spend on my bath products, yes maybe you don’t spend that much but we do.  They may not be essential to you… but they are essential to me 🙂 – If I choose to breastfeed and want to share my passion about it, don’t get upset – it is what is working for my family and same the other way around.

Two of my three main men 😉

I guess I just wish that some people wouldn’t come off so catty.  It isn’t easy being a mother, I think it is totally worth if of course. But lucky for me I have a strong backbone and can deal with hurtful comments and in my mind do the middle finger and eye roll.  Some moms, at their wits end (colicy babies, sleep deprivation) don’t need to be told what they are doing wrong, without telling them that they are doing something right.  So I guess I wish people would come off supportive instead of negative right away.  You are absolutely entitled to your opinion but if you cannot articulate that without coming off mean, maybe you should keep it to yourself.  — OBVIOUSLY there are extremes to this – child abuse or neglect but that is a WHOLE different story.  But if you are coming down on me because I choose to buy bath toys and call them essential (maybe the word-choice isn’t awesome but do you think about a word choice for more the a second?)… :-/ I’m just trying to share what we love.  I’ve always been crazy sensitive about peoples feelings so when I read comments that I know will hurt someone, I sorta want to karate chop the person who typed them’s fingers (and I’m really not a violent person, not at all).

Learning to deal with anxiety is what I’m really focusing on these days…I’m having some anxiety about returning to work (some anxiety is an understatement) and trying to cope.  I’m very lucky to have such support but am wondering if there are any back to work mommas that can tell me, the first week will be rough but I’ll get through it.  Last night I finally slept OK, which is progress but I know we can do better.  I’m definitely trying to redefine my time a little, so I get SOME time away from baby, even if it is just 15 minutes to type the end of this blog.

Last night I went out with people from work and took Mr. E to a bar (I wonder how many evil comments are brewing in peoples heads, YES I took him to a BAR).  He was hanging out with his week younger buddy, (there were TWO babies at a bar last night)!  It was nice to get out and be around grown ups for a while, but OH MAN did I pay for him not getting in his evening nap.  I felt awful, but at the same time it felt nice to comfort my very angry elf baby (does that make me sound weird? That I like to comfort an angry child?).

It is so strange how when you become a mom – things that mattered to you before, don’t and things you ever thought would bother you, do.  It changes your life… in the best way possible.  I really do enjoy hearing people’s opinions but I always ALWAYS gauge my audience first and offer comfort, before advice to someone who is struggling.  How do you deal with mean people?  Strong minded individuals (I have TONS of strong minded friends, maybe that is why I can brush off unwanted advice?).

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