Frustration Sets In

Yesterday we walked, bounced and made… Who knows how much progress because I’ll tell you I’m typing from the comforts of this ball again with a very similar bump but not a similar smile:

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Ok, I know Evan was born a week late, and I was prepping myself for another late baby BUT OMG!  Yes, this is me venting.  I’m very very frustrated.  Why?  Because last night I went for a walk with my husband and started getting crazy contractions.  I was getting them every couple minutes, I thought – well they could slow down when I stop and they SORT OF did.  We had to stop at Target for some milk and hung out at my parents house for about a half hour before then.  I was still getting pretty consistent contractions at 4-6 minutes apart but I decided to just keep it to myself as the intensity had died down and I’m really sick of the back and forth “is she, isn’t she in labor.”

So as we left my mom’s house and on our way to Target I was still getting them pretty consistently, but wanted to make sure I had them for a full hour before I called anyone.  Well, I suck at timing contractions but I will tell you this – at Target I was getting a few that stopped me dead in my tracks.  At one point Hector said, “Jen smell this candle!” and I was in my head like “LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!” Outside I said “great babe, whatever you want.” We finished up at the store and I actually pretty much waddled (yes, waddled!!!) back to the car.  At this point I swear I could feel the baby’s head REALLY low like pressure in places I’ve never felt before.  For a moment I thought “The poor women that experience that pressure for months!” – but then I became selfish again as my back started to hurt I was getting dull aches in my lower back, shooting pains down my hamstrings and when I walked I could also feel pains down the FRONT of my legs.  I just wanted to get home so bad.

We get home and I sit on the stairs right when you walk in the door, looking at our to go bag and the carseat that Evan wanted SO badly to get into.

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No matter how much I tell him he doesn’t fit he just wants to “buckle up” and sit in it.  He is so huge, I felt such a crazy mix of emotion – sadness, frustration, exhaustion – mental exhaustion. My “baby” is clearly not a baby, he was so sad and I just wanted to cry with him.  But our reasons for crying were so different, he needed sleep – I had kept him up way past his bedtime trying to get his baby out – I had clearly done too much as my whole body was just achy, I started to feel sick.  I put him down for bed and he fell asleep quickly.  I had hydrated a lot all day so I was constantly up and down last night and in SO MUCH PAIN getting up and down.  The second I’d get up to go to the bathroom I’d have like wrap around pain from my back, to my front.  I felt like the baby was going to FALL OUT of my body.  It was not pleasant at all.  But the moment I laid down and relaxed I’d be semi comfortable and everything would stop.

So my conclusion?  Evan’s experience thus far was better.  This has been stressful and scary and uncomfortable for several weeks now and I’ve had it.  I’m still pregnant.  I’m sick to my stomach and I’m really frustrated.  My husband goes back to work Nov. 3rd no baby or with baby and I just want to scream.  Please baby, come.  We are ready for you – my body hurts, I’m ready for the overwhelming exhaustion and other pains but the mental part of this right now is like a horrible mind game that is unfair.  I don’t care if I get the “ugh, get over it” comments, baby will come – because the problem is if he was comfortably in there like Evan – I’d be like FINE!  But he isn’t and I just need to be done.  I’m so done.

WIth that… How cute is this bed-head?

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He is watching way too much TV but oh well – he’ll survive.  I guess we will try to bundle up and go for another walk.  Oso will approve of that – I’m also a horrible mother – Evan still doesn’t have a costume.  I looked everywhere for something for him and am kicking myself that I didn’t just buy a dragon costume that was on sale at Pottery Barn.  He wants to be Spiderman but he is too small and the only ones I find are for kids and he really is still in toddler sizes between 2 and 3T.  I’m going to dress him up as a “big brother” doesn’t that sound fair? lol  One more picture of him yesterday during his nap (yes he was still in pjs for his 12 p.m. nap, do not judge, he didn’t want to take them off and in fact insisted I put pants that were too small OVER them:

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I think it is hysterical.  This kiddo keeps me going <3

Loving Weekends, per usual

I don’t know what makes life go faster.  A two year old, or a rapidly approaching newborn.  Any ideas?

I’m expanding like no other, or so it feels.  It felt good yesterday that my overly honest, no filter bro said, “you don’t even look pregnant, it is hard to believe the baby will be here soon.” But I may have a stretch mark forming which is totally weird because 1) never got them before, 2) I haven’t itched for a second and 3) it is like a light pink scratch looking thing.  I’m hoping it is paranoia but only time will tell and needless to say I’ve upped water intake and lathering up on my belly butter.   I’m trying not to stress about it, but I’ve accepted anything body related I stress about.

Here is a breakdown of yesterday:

Woke up, cuddled with my two year old.  Ran out of the house for a glucose test.  What a fun thing to do as a prego.  Make me drink this pretty gross orange drink first think in the am, and sit around for an hour.  Luckily I had good company, my momma & my number one little dude right now.  We stopped for brunch after:

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Afterwards, a quick run to Costco for some staples, Penguin came with:

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We came home and BOTH napped.  Clearly the blood drawing took a lot out of us ;-)

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After our nap, we took a quick walk to EP’s taste.  The weather was INCREDIBLE. The atmosphere was awesome, way better than previous years – we enjoyed live bands, a few bites of food I don’t normally touch and Evan had a BLAST on some of the rides.  My heart was so full watching him, it almost exploded.

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We also enjoyed an insanely beautiful sunset:

 

It was such a sweet night.  Uncle Joe even made an appearance that Evan loved:

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By the time we got home, we were all ready to crash and we did.  But not before some rough housing with our poor pup, Oso:

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Today has been just as fast paced.  Although we slept in!  Didn’t really roll out of bed until around 7:45 about an hour and 45 minutes later than usual.  Maybe third trimester sleepies?  Who knows. Hahaha.  I went shopping with one of my very best friends, Joanna.  Brought Evan home for a nap and am catching up on some other thoughts that I plan to write about in the not too far future like breastfeeding, prepping a big boy’s room and a nursery AGAIN *sigh* so much to do.

Well, I’m off for a laundry marathon.  Followed by cleaning, organizing, some yoga and cuddling with my two year old.  Oh!  Salmon for dinner and one of our family walks.  I’m telling you there has been nothing better lately.

Happy Sunday!

Not the Biggest Fan

Well, as my second trimester draws to a close, I thought I’d write a bit about the past 27ish (21 of which I knew I was prego..)weeks.

My. Goodness.  I feel like this pregnancy really is almost the polar opposite of how I felt during my other one.  Sure I was still obsessed with not getting stretch-marks and have had some nervous moments… Last night I tried to remember life with a newbie and was having trouble falling asleep thinking about how I would handle it.  How will Evan be?  He will be in his big boy bed, will I have two babies trying to cuddle at night?  How did I handle burping?  Did I nurse and burp him in the middle of the night.. I don’t remember!? How could I forget these things?  I wonder if Hector would be just as helpful and wonderful as he was the first time.  Does he even know HOW grateful I was for his love and support?  Needless to say I just couldn’t turn my brain off.  Sure the questions weren’t the same but I did have several nervous nights during my first pregnancy… I also think this is totally normal.  So last night I looked at my peacefully snoring husband, took a deep breath and said to myself “Just like you did last time, one day at a time.”  

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How my pregnancy is different with baby 2:

1.  My body.  Hands down, has stretched in different ways.  Overall I’ve gained LESS (from my starting weight, albeit was higher than my starting weight with Evan, I had just done marathon training… and wasn’t as focused on weight training as I was this time around) than with Evan so far, yet things do not fit like they did with Evan.  My hips/thighs have absolutely widened, and they seem fuller even though Hector swears they aren’t (he lies.. haha).  Like Evan, most people are surprised when I tell them how far along I am, yet I feel much larger this time but I think that has to do with what my hips/thighs are doing.  With this, I’ve actually bought a few maternity items this time around which I didn’t do with Evan either.  With Evan I literally was wearing my clothes to work at 40 weeks, likely why I felt so much smaller with him.  This time, not so much.  One thing I must say is maternity wear is so much more comfortable.  *sigh* I don’t think I’ll ever be good at body changes.   This is something I struggle with about 80% of my day and REALLY need to stop.

2. Energy.  I can’t remember exactly how energy worked last time but I am really really really tired… Pretty much all the time.  I don’t know if because I didn’t have a two year old to run around after or a whole house to take care of or WHAT but I’m tired all the time (did I say that yet?).  Doesn’t matter how much sleep I get, what I eat, if I workout… Nothing helps.  I literally get to a point where I’m like “I just need to sit down.”  Last night we were out for a walk and I had to stop at my moms 2/3rds way though for a rest haha.  Could have been because it was 8:30 already but still.  I. am. tired.  

3.  Workouts.  After my major ankle issue, it was like this for about 4 weeks and extremely painful for another few and is actually still healing:

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I never though I’d get back to solid workouts I felt good about.  This injury REALLY REALLY set me back, emotionally and physically.  BUT I HAVE!  I’m actually more active this pregnancy than I was the last one.  My last one I’d do a bit of weights at home and some light workouts but really took it easy, you know go home, jump on your registry watch baby move and go to sleep. :)  Even if my clothes seem to tell me differently.  I just keep trying to remind myself I have to tools to be how I want to be… Just be calm and patient, I am growing a baby.

4.  With Evan, after my disastrous morning sickness first 17ish weeks (I had both times, yay me!) it was over.  I was able to eat super green salads, fresh fruit, and my total clean eats.  This time, I’M STILL SICK!  Ugh, my tummy really just wants toast, something easy on my tummy.  Veggies, are way hit or miss sometimes I’m like “this steamed broccoli tastes amazing” other times, later that day even, I want to GAG looking at it. -_- haha, this is just the way it has been.  Other times, I’m just so overwhelmed with nausea I can’t eat anything at all. So. Strange.  I still buy super clean but I’ve had way more breads/pasta/whole wheat wraps in my diet then as far back as I can remember.  But like with Evan, no real cravings.  

5. Preparing for baby.  By this time with Evan, I’m pretty sure the nursery was pretty much complete and I had a carseat, and all sorts of stuff.  This time, baby is getting spoiled by grandma… and I think my friend Joanna and I are tied on the onesies we have gotten for my baby no-name.  haha.  I do have some thoughts in mind on how I want to do his nursery, super chill and inspiring, but I better get started!

I know I didn’t love being pregnant with Evan.  Don’t get me wrong, I love baby jabs and the warm smiles from people.  I do love when my sister or my mom say that I’m a cute prego, even though I feel anything but… But I’m looking forward to the end.  I’m looking forward to treating myself to a few new pairs of wonder-unders and a cute pair of riding boots.  I look forward to my baby wrapped in the Moby and my sweet Evan hugging my legs.  

What I’m working on:

Better focus.  This very well might be the last time I’m ever pregnant.  IF it is, do I really want to look back and be like “ugh, I was so miserable?” Nope.  That is why I bought another dress for work today and why if I want a piece of chocolate I’ll have it.  It is why tonight I’ll go on a walk with Evan and Oso, and why I’m going to wrap up this post and clean my house.  I’m going to continue to do things that make me happy (clean house = happy camper)… 

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Being thankful.  So far I’ve had a healthy pregnancy.  I need to continue to be focused ON THAT.  I’m lucky, not all pregnancies are this uneventful.  

Happy Sunday!! I hope to be back with some weekly favs <3

 

xoxo

My Weekend – Insert Sadface & Last Weekend In Pictures (5/26)

This weekend was supposed to be really was awesome.  I woke up Saturday morning so happy I thought I could fly.  My husband had told me he was going to get Sunday off (Whaoo!!) and I was all set at 7 a.m. to get my day started with FARMER’S MARKET!  One of my all-time favorite places to go.  It is honestly such an awesome way to start the weekend. Fresh veggies, flowers… the works.  I was especially looking forward to grabbing some herbs and a strawberry plant for Evan’s very own lil garden (a couple pots this year! next year a whole little bed!! If we don’t get to it this year).  I called my mom and was off!  Had a great talk with the hubs and stepped out the front door at 7:30 sharp.

Then BAM! Major accident. I was walking down my front steps with my lulu bag and flip flops and hit an uneven piece of concrete and my loose ligaments in my right ankle gave way!  It was such a scary moment.  I knew immediately that my day was taking a dramatic turn and BOY did it HURT!  I immediately yelled out for Hector in short gasps “Hector. Help. Please hurry.”  It was honestly so terrifying.  Thank God he was home.  As someone who plays sports and has had aches, pains and sprains I knew I needed to get it up and iced as fast as possible.  The pain was so intense I thought I was going to pass out.  I got inside, asked Hector to get me some I ice and give me a phone, I needed to call my mom.  Naturally, I called my mom in tears, likely frightened her and thank God she lives like 3 minutes away because she was there in a flash because within minutes it looked like this:

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A half hour later (with icing and elevating):

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I was over the moon in pain. I never want to go to the hospital with things like this because I knew it wasn’t broken but my mom talked me into it.  I knew the doctor would tell me “It isn’t broken, ice, elevate and take Tylenol” (because I can’t take NSAIDs).  Still around 3’clock because the pain was at an 8 if it wasn’t elevated (and even then the throbbing was awful)… I broke down and went.

To Elmhurst ER we went haha.  They said it wasn’t broken, and to ice, elevate and take Tylenol.  They gave me a fancy aircast and crutches since I really couldn’t put any weight on it whatsoever.  The hardest part of this all was the fact that I had so much planned.  It is tough to watch my weekend fly by when I was literally daydreaming about long walks and sunkissed cheeks and instead I was elevated and icing.  My sweet son had a nice time with Grandma though!!

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I spent my Saturday and Sunday pretty much in bed or on a couch because the minute my foot hit the floor major major pain.

Ah well.  Some weekends just don’t work out the way you planned.  Today it is still painful and turning a lovely shade of purple but I’m hobbling around and hope to be gently hobbling around tomorrow.  As this is my right leg with my crappy knee to begin with the hobbling will likely cause other strange pains so I’m trying to gently stretch in all ways that feel good and aren’t terribly painful.  I’m praying that this heals quickly because my almost two-year-old… as sweet as he is isn’t easy to keep up with on crutches or hobbling.

Here are some pictures of LAST weekend, the weekend I was looking to semi-recreate:

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Spring.

All sorts of things are blooming around here!!  Spring is FINALLY in the air.

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My Daffodils are flowering, and weathering our unseasonable cold.  Evan is my little man now… Has long ago shed his baby face and is a full on little human:

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He sings, laughs, plays tricks, runs, talks and blows my mind everyday.  He is just the happiest little guy anyone can imagine and he is the light of our lives.  

This winter was a rough one!  We have had maybe 2 or 3 beautiful days since our first freeze. Yesterday being one of them:

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And Easter being another:

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I’m getting out of my rut (which I’ll blog more about later!) and finally have some energy.  I’m telling you things are really growing and changing around here!  

We are looking to change up some home stuff, change up some life stuff and change up some garden stuff.  It is amazing what a little sunshine can bring to your life.

Happy Spring!

Little Man Update – 1.5 Years *GASP*

My how time flies.  I know I say that every time I blog, but NOTHING could be more true.  Honestly before I know it WEEKS have gone by.

When Evan was first born we would count his weeks “Oh he is 5 weeks old” that turned into months “He is 4.5 months” which has now turned to half years “He is one and a half” *sobs*

He has grown so much and continues to blow me away with his knowledge.  He is full on bilingual.  He knows more Spanish and can go back and forth better then Hector can :)  It blows me away!  Typically we ask “More?” and he will say “mas, si” haha or we will say “Say thank you” and he will say “gracias” yesterday he did another phrase and I remember being so blown away because I just am so proud.   I’ve of course forgotten it, but will have to wrack my brain because it was a good one!!  He knows his first swear word in Spanish and I laugh so hard when he says it that I’m sure he will continue to say it more and more. Evan sings the birthday song, old McDonald, and takes stabs at everything else.  He knows all his objects, hats, socks, food, water (agua), toys, car, ipad, tv, shoes, boots (yep knows the difference), bed, bath, oso…. etc really the list is endless.  He knows people!  Points and everything Colie, Gamma (or Debbie!), Abue, Hector, Daddie, Josh (Tio, Tio, Tio), Naci (Nancy), JOE!, Joey, and of course Mama… haha <3  He is perfection.  He speaks in phrases, says everything in context and is just amazing.  Really how did I get so lucky?

As much as I loved squishy baby phase, I must say this independent toddler phase is a blast.  He is just so curious and funny and I love watching his personality.  I honestly just stare at him sometimes as if I cannot believe he is real, I cannot imagine my life without him and there is nowhere I’d rather be then with him.  I love how he laughs, and how boyish he is.  He is a little dare devil!  I want to soak up as much of it as I can! He makes me so happy, and proud (did I say that already?).

We had his 18 month checkup and it of course went very well (he needs a haircut, I know but I can’t bring myself to do it):

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27lbs 1oz (90th percentile for weight) 34.5 inches tall (98th percentile for height) – He is perfectly proportioned but definitely a big guy, and very strong.

Must be all the green drinks ;-)

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He is a great eater – not picky at all and has almost all his teeth, definitely a full mouth.

I’ve already started thinking about his 2nd birthday party (when I’ve yet to blog about his first one!  Which I will because it was AMAZING!):DSC_0054

I’m thinking paper airplanes or nautical themed.  We shall see… I went a little crazy last year and hope to scale back haha:

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Scary that I’m opening my brain to that once again.  We should probably just go on vacation instead :) lol.

I am so over the moon with my little guy.  Happy Half Birthday To You:

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(thanks for still cuddling <3 )

 

Winter Prep & a super late Halloween/Oct Recap (pretty much in pictures)

Yep, it has happened.  Chicago’s first snow dusting:

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It is premature in my book, but totally typical of Chicago.  In our city, you cannot even begin to predict what is going to happen weather-wise.  This was taken almost two weeks ago and the following weekend we had 60 degree weather followed by severe thunder storms, go figure ;-)  I feel lucky that we get to experience all the different seasons around here, but I don’t think I’d be too sad if I moved somewhere warm and sunny all the time.  My mood seems tied to the weather… But still – it makes me nuts that we were JUST enjoying warm/fallish weather and now I’m scrambling to get Evan some weather appropriate clothes:

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Anywho, the snow has put me into wintertime mode.  Hot chocolate, throw blankets, and pulling out/buying new Christmas decorations:

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Tar-jey is so dangerous… They had the CUTEST owl/vintage-y ornaments so naturally I had to make Evan his own mini tree above…  But really how cute are these:

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Target also has holiday scents out.  One of my favorite products had “Pine” scent so I snagged those too:

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Love the pine scents… seriously obsessed

 

Time still seems to fly by at hyper speed.  I realized I’ve never blogged about Evan’s first birthday – which I still will.  I put in a TON of work for it and made decor that I’d love to share – so when I find the pictures I’ll blog about it 4 months late.  I’ve also not blogged about Halloween even though it did happen and our mini werewolf (of course the costume we LOVED he hated, so pictures in it were nearly impossible) hung out with his bff Jonathan:

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856857_542981855112_1140881000_o 1378636_542556377772_1334718688_n 1403363_542980921982_578166463_o 1405012_542980951922_586106962_o 1410779_542981465892_1636764769_o 1415462_542981550722_1716105142_o 1425331_542981081662_1617711229_oLife lately really isn’t anything short of amazing.  Evan is awesome, Hector is sweet as always and Oso is the best big bro a mom could ask for.

Like I said, with winter on the way we are scrambling to get out decor and set up our casa with holiday cheer the first holiday season we are spending here.

Thanks for taking the ride with us!