Dear Mr. Michael Alexander:
You are a whole month [and a halfish] old already. You are such a beautiful, peaceful, content little baby. I stare at you all day. Something I think about everyday? How absolutely stunning you are. You just are such a cute little guy. You are becoming more and more alert from your newbie days. You still sleep a lot and I’m guilty of holding you a lot. I must confess I don’t hold you as much as I did Evan but that is for a couple reasons. Reason 1 – Evan is here and he needs my love and attention too and 2 – you aren’t as picky as he was (or as I make him out to be, but it could have all been my fault, wanting him in my arms constantly). You really do like to be on the boppy lounger or in your rock and play or swing. You are just very relaxed except for between 10:30-12 and sometimes later. Suddenly you are very picky, so picky, you don’t know what you want. This is the time before your longest sleep stretch (about 5-6 hours then you squirm and make noises and before you cry I nurse you and you go back to sleep for another 3-4 hours) is a little challenging. You want to nurse, then you don’t, you want the pacifier, then you don’t, you want to be held, then you don’t ;-) you just like to hear yourself scream at this time of the night but you do this little lip quiver thing that just melts my heart (yet I try to get it on video because I never want to forget it) right now as I type this I’m rocking you in the rock and play with my foot and waiting for the scream as you gently get worked up and I know I will end up finishing this up some other time… likely tomorrow. See, now your are laying on the pillow next to me and you are pretty comfortable for the moment. So I’ll continue. [5 minutes later, you are in my lap…]
I know there will be many days where I compare you to your brother, because he is my first motherhood experience but I promise I love you so much and know you are your own perfect little soul. I’m so exceptionally grateful that you are my little boy and I look so forward to watching you grow. You are my little grunter, you are so noisey – not in a bad way but in a “yeah I’m here” way, it is like you are already trying got talk. Even in your sleep you talk, maybe you just have very vivid dreams, but you let us know, even when you are sleeping, you are around. You enjoy the moby, you do not enjoy the car seat, you LOVE being swaddled, you do not cry with a wet diaper, your brother kisses you about 1000x a day so I try to keep up with him, you likely get close to 3000 kisses a day. What can I say? You are loved. So very very loved.
Another thing we do a lot? Take pictures. LOTS and lots of pictures. My phone is quickly getting filled with beautiful pictures of you and Evan, and of you. I’m challenging myself to take at least a picture of you everyday and we are already on day 44 (if I post this 12/19) somewhere in there I screwed up a day, double posted or didn’t post… who knows. But I know I have a picture of you that day ha. As I write this I realize that I’m more than half way through my leave… and my heart breaks a little because each day you change a little, grow a lot and make me feel whole. I know there will be a HOLE when I leave you all day :( – my sweet baby. I love you.
I promise to give you my all, I promise to love you even when you think I don’t – I promise I will do everything in my power to give you all the tools you need to be anything you want to be. I will love you unconditionally – you are my baby. You are a piece of me and I cannot imagine life without you even though you’ve only been here six weeks – my life is so full because you are in it.
All my love & then some,