June Wrap Up

Well, father time has kicked my behind – yet again.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading and reflecting this month. I’m trying to fit everything in… Enjoy everything… soak in everything and prepare for someone’s first birthday.

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I’m so unprepared and in complete denial about the fact that his birthday is next month.  In fact I still haven’t taken his 11 month photos because I just can’t believe that a month from now I’ll be out of ties:

DSC_0053I recently started preparing myself for the weaning process and the thought really sort of depresses me.  On so many levels I’m ready to be done with a lot of it…  The pumping is exhausting but the actual nursing sessions are still a super crazy bonding time.  I’m the only one who can share those moments with him and the thought of that ending is really weighing heavily on me.  You see, when you are not a nursing mom, you don’t understand it.  I remember not being a mom and being sort of uncomfortable with the idea because of how the media and our culture really doesn’t embrace it these days.  So many people are like “yuck” put that away… Now being that I have nurtured my child this far anyone I see nursing their baby in public, I want to give them a high five – because it isn’t easy.  I know everyone bonds with their children in their own way and I know many people go the formula route (high fives to you too!) but for the past year my life has revolved around feeding my little guy.

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Being a mom isn’t easy and I just want to hug everyone out there who works hard to give their children the best lives they can.  I must say though, nursing is something so many people are uncomfortable talking about.  It shouldn’t be that way.  It really is the most natural thing in the world and I feel very lucky to have had such a wonderful experience and am really really proud of Evan and myself for making it this far.   I mean this guy lights up every room:

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So be prepared for sobfest blogs in the very near future…

On a lighter note – I’m still so impressed by the beauty in my yard:

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My lilies on steroids have bloomed and they are GORGEOUS.  Seriously!  So pretty I have at least 5 different colors of lilies in my yard including some yellow day lilies that are not pictured.  I’m in awe of the constant bloom in my garden.  Sure, these only bloom once but there is constantly something new and pretty blooming… I hope I don’t kill any of this stuff because it is fun to watch it grow.

I have about 300 projects going on.  My auto focus stopped working on my Nikon which is forcing me to either buy a new lens, or new camera… Both hefty purchases.  I really want a Canon but $$$$$ is holding me back.  So I’m going to do some research.  I’m also going to start to edit my photographs and trying to decide between Aperture for my mac or Lightroom 5 (on either my desktop or my mac… still unsure probably going to do a trial run) – Photography has really been fun lately for me… Taking pictures of Evan, Oso… my plants our adventures… My camera is always with me ;-)

Also, if you didn’t know my family and I are pretty huge Chicago Blackhawks fans (sports fans as a whole really) but my sister and mother are HUGE Blackhawks fans and follow them when the are not so good.. and when they are amazing… Like recently because uh.  We won the Stanley Cup!  Yay for Chicago.  I’m lucky enough to work in the City and have gotten to enjoy the Sea of Red and an amazing view of the parade that took place yesterday:

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I have more that I’ll share later as weird things are going on with this computer of mine…

 

 

To the man who holds are hearts

For almost a decade you have been a part of my life.  You were/are my first and only love, that sweet boy who took my heart and held on tight.

We have countless memories from prom to graduation to our engagement and wedding and then this happened:

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You became the father of our son.  Of all of the things I love about you – words, smoke signals, dances and crazy songs would never do justice to just how amazing you are with Evan.  You are truly amazing with him.

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From the start you were so supportive to him and I (the emotional crazy train) – You would wake up and bring him to me those early days… You would change diapers without question and you would allow me to cuddle for hours without picking up anything… You would clean around the house (knowing I’d be a basket case if things were messy) and not say a word – you would just do it like you understood it would make me happy even if I didn’t tell you it did.  All of those things you may think went un-noticed but I still remember you being an amazing supportive loving husband and father through those early transition days.

I remember you telling me how much you loved him, and our little family – no words have ever felt so wonderful…

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But beyond the words are your actions.  You are so present with Evan.  You hug, kiss, feed, play and snuggle with Evan.  He loves you so so much.  So much that he calls you to three words: “pa pa” “da da” and my personal favorite, “Hec torrrrrrr” lol

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So today we just want to tell you how much we love you.  That you mean the absolute world to us.  My heart fills with joy, to the point of happy tears when I see you with Evan because you are so amazing.  Happy Father’s Day – no one deserves this special day more then you.

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What we are up to in JUNE!

Hello blog world!

What are we up to as of late?!

Lots! – New Nephew!!! – Gardening madhouse – work, work, work – running after baby – running on that tredmill – enjoying life… You know the norm.

I’ve mentioned before that the previous owner of our home was an avid gardner.  She has some awesome plants… and amazing roses.  Last week I took a bunch of shots of the amazing flowers in my yard and was going to write a post on how I have been you-tubing how to take care of these things (I’m doing well in some areas, not so well in others) – and I was going to share our farmer’s market trip then BAM I misplaced my memory card *cue sad trombone, and worlds smallest violin* I’m hoping to find and share those pics, but who knows! Darn SD card, you have no idea how hard it is for me to loose pictures… it is like losing a piece of me.  So today I ventured out to find a few cute things, and a bunch of upkeep I need to get to…

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My orgeno, lemon balm and thyme is just insanely happy.  Can’t you tell?  Here is a before and after:

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:D *happy dance*

This weekend is father’s day – Hector’s first since our amazing little man has blessed us with his precense.  What is Evan up to lately?

Growing like a weed, standing on his own and taking baby steps… YEP! Baby. Steps.  Walking is right around the corner maybe for is 11 month birthday.

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I cannot believe that I took the picture above almost 6 months ago, where has my itty bitty baby gone?

Today we are going to try to get too many things done… so wish us luck.

Be back with more pictures of my love bugs and some workout updates!

xoxo

Finding my “Zen”

I love weekends.  It is safe to say I live for them.  I get 24 of this little dude:

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and time at home with the puppy, hubs and our home which is still fairly new to us.  Lately I have had a chance to really absorb things around me.  I’m finding more time to workout, more time to relax (ha, 5 minutes or so) and more time to read.  The hubs got me this awesome gift for mother’s day:

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I broke my other kindle somehow, and was devastated so this was a welcomed addition and I am really enjoying it pretty much everyday.  I am almost finished Relic and recently finished The Wolf of Wallstreet and I downloaded a book on meditation as one of my goals is to start to meditate as I hear it works wonders and I need to find that calm.  Lately anxiety has been getting the best of me (probably why the surge in gym-goings)… So this is something I really am stoked about.  Other ways I’m looking to find my zen?

1.  At home quiet “me” time.  Getting in a bath, painting my nails, and figuring out new natural scrubs and beauty regimens.  Loving this and this right now.  <— Another one of my favorite bloggers, Maria is hysterical.

2.  Thinking about at home projects – making lists.  Hector and I are a family on a budget :) – Not crazy, but enough of a budget that I cannot go out and purchase everything I want (wouldn’t that be nice! Not sure I know anyone like this… but I can dream haha).  So I have a long list of at home projects that we are working on or attempting to work on for our new home.

3. Getting and staying organized.  Even the little improvements in this department make me feel so much better.  I love when someone says “hey do you have this…” I can go straight to it.  My new obsession is mason jars.  I love the look of them and I really wish I would have taken a before and after picture of this “after”:

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4.  Getting my craft on.  Well although I have dabbled in craftiness and have a creative side finding the time to stay on top of it is difficult; but – this fun machine is going to help me turn Evan’s party paper into cool decor:

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I did a lot of research before purchasing including hopping into my local Paper Source who swears by it (it is what they use!!) – This helps me find my Zen for the simple fact that there is an immediate tangible end product.  After the awesome decor at my baby shower, I need to be able to make a solid effort to make Evan’s big 1st birthday bash a success even with decor.

5.  Sounds, Sights and smells – nothing beats an awesome smelling candle, fresh air, clean home, flowers from the garden and my favorite music station (an awesome playlist or fav pandora station):

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6.  Remembering the things I do right… The hard work I do put in like still nursing Evan:

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There have been countless times where I have thought to myself “why am I still doing this” as I hear the “whomp whomp whomp” in the background.  But looking back at my 10 + month nursing journey… I can honestly say I am so proud.  Evan’s first year of life has flown and I’m proud I put in the effort and am lucky it was so easy for me.  Sure I missed some nights out because I rather be home to nurse then make time for another pumping sesh, but it has all been worth it for me and I need to give myself credit instead of feeling annoyed at its inconveniences.

Each day I work towards letting the positive in and the negative out.  It is a daily battle.  Just remember you aren’t the only one who has bad days but you are the ninja in your life. Get moving, let toxic things go and sweat it out.

Treat yourself to something special.  Do things just for you.  Just because you are a mom, or have other crazy commitments doesn’t mean you can’t do things for yourself.  With that said… Some shopping, some yoga, and some cleaning.

Last night's awesome sunset from our bedroom. xoxox

Last night’s awesome sunset from our bedroom. xoxox

Stay happy, friends.

10 Months

Every day I wake up look at my sleeping baby and smile.  He is the best part of everything.  Funny how your child becomes the center of your universe:

DSC_0230Mr. E. J. V. – Mr. Personality – his faces these days are hysterical… He is the light of my life.  At 10 months he has 7 teeth that are totally popped through, a few more on the way… A wild sense of humor with funny fuzzy LONG hairs to match.  He is smart, talkative, social, loving, and I simply cannot imagine my life without him.

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This month his curiosity has absolutely skyrocketed and it grows and grows each day.  He is into everything, he points when he wants something, and makes noises we make like coughs and sneezes *ah cho*.  He absolutely says Mmma-Ma and Dadadadada.  Hector believes he says Hec-tor too and tells me I need to only call him daddy.

He is such a sweet boy, always.  I’m a lucky girl.  When out and about it takes in his surroundings and he just stares and batts his eyelashes – especially at the blonds. :)

He loves bathtime, playtime, food time and cuddle time.  We had a bit of an issue with diaper changing time but that has fizzled somewhat.  He is all set in his big boy car seats and is eating much more solid chunky food.

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He makes my heart melt, each and everyday.

Dear Evan,

You have really taught me what life is all about.  It is about relationships, loved ones, smiles, hugs and kisses.  You have taught me how to measure success: your giggles, your amazing growth, your happiness and safety.  You teach me more everyday then I could ever teach myself.  I have never been more proud then right now.  I’m so lucky to be raising such a wonderfully healthy baby boy.  You are going to do great things, I can feel it.

I want you to dream big.  I want you to be everything and anything you want to be.  I want you to give back to communities and those who have less than you.  I want you to learn to sail a sailboat, drive stick shift, throw a mean curve ball and learn how to fly a plane.  I want you to travel the world and learn about cultures, I want you to read and chat about history with Auntie Cole… I want Jackson and baby no name to smile huge when they see you knowing they have a lifelong friend in you.

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I want you to always feel safe in my arms, and I want to give you the world.  There are so many wants I have for you.  I could never list them all but the one thing I want you to know more then anything else.. is that I love you. SO much that I feel it deep in my bones way down into my soul, and I will always love you… Even when you make mistakes, messes and tell me things I don’t want to hear.

Thank you for being my son.  You have changed my life in so many ways and even though I thought I wasn’t ready for you… you knew I was.  You trusted me the second you were placed on my chest 10 months ago.  I love the way you can wrap your arms around my neck and look for comfort on my chest. I hope you always cling to me… I know over the years the definition of cling will change, but my love for you will always grow stronger like it does each day.

I love you my little bean.  xoxo

Mommy.

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June 1. Catch Up. Saturday’s Start

Hey hey!  It has been a while and I’m super behind!  I’ll catch you up with our 10 month old sometime this weekend, promise!

In the meantime, a few things going on over here today – enjoying some of our favorite things:

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Coffee and bananas, Evan (of course), sunshine, clean counter tops, sippy cups & my very own essential oil blend burning away.

I also stepped into my garden (which needs some TLC, it is looking like a jungle) to admire some INSANE flowers:

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The only thing I had anything to do with was my herbs, which are doing awesome :)

My favorite blogger’s summer shape up starts Monday – superrrr excited about that!  She gave us a bunch of info to have a successful head start so I’m going to cover my bases for that this weekend.

My May’s smoothie challenge was a hit:

DSC_0297My detox blend above with mint from my very own garden! :D

And I will be treating myself to a vitamix in the very near future!!

So all is well over here, just busy – you know how that happens – life!

Be back later with some more updates from today, and some refreshed goals and my little dude’s 10 month update!