Traditions and Revisions (Late last night post)

Ever since I could remember we had perogies, sausage, and horseradish and beet sauce for Easter.  My family always would go to Gene’s Deli for these Polish treats, so today I hopped along with the hubs, gma & gpa and my sweet baby, Evan:

DSC_0769My mom (gma) swore it would be packed and that we should brace ourselves, but we had missed the crowd and had a great time just looking at all ethnic eats:

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We left with our fair share of goodies and ate like pigs when we got home ;-) -

There was a bit of playing & cuddling (of course):

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And a super crazy tradition of coloring eggs.  I cannot remember a year when I didn’t color Easter eggs, it is like carving a pumpkin for Halloween  you just HAVE to do it or it doesn’t feel like a holiday.  Some years we get more creative than others, this year was a take it easy year and we did it with gg (great grandma Betty):

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As far as revisions… I would have loved a night with wine and movies and cuddle time.  Instead all I see is nyquil and bed.

Good night and Happy Easter Eve.

 

 

Saturday Starts

Continuing with my “S” theme (well, it is just a coincidence, actually) – Saturday hast started off productive:

A quick Easter project:

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:D – Evan’s first Easter basket <3  A little bit of Ribbon goes a long way!

We also are doing the normal Saturday clean up, Hector’s working on the fish tank (a monthly project):

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A project he doesn’t like to do but we gotta take care of those little guys!  :)

I’m enjoying my new playlist, blogging, thinking of new recipes for Evan (Spinach, peas and pear tonight), and picking out today’s outfit for running around.  It is going to be such a beautiful day here in Chicago so I’m definitely pulling out and dusting off the Bob and wearing some bright new lulu gear.  I’m still coughing quiet a bit so I’m praying fresh air will help.

We will also be doing a family tradition, Easter egg coloring and I will be taking a bagillion pictures of Evan in various “Easter” outfits.  He is going to be so happy about it :D

We went to Tj’s last night and I finally picked up some fresh flowers, nothing more homey then lighting a sweet smelling candle and looking at freshly cut flowers (that lived through the night without water! lol):

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Keeping things happy and healthy over here and wishing you a productive Saturday! <3

SSSS&S – Friday

Sight & Stitch[fixes]:

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[More on this later!!!]
As always I’m trying to stay organized and de-cluttered it helps keep me happy, honestly a clean house gives me a quieter mind, without a doubt.

Sound: sound

 

Loving some new stretching, calming music right now.

Smell:

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I’ve started burning these the minute I feel any sort of stress (the am when I’m trying to rush out the door)… They are amazing.

and my final S?  Sniffles. AGAIN. *sigh* Public transportation and stress are seriously messing with my flow – I haven’t been sick in a year and after my serious rib injury JUST started feeling better Wednesday sore throat, Thrus. sore throat plus sniffles, Friday sore throat feels a bit better but cough and sniffles – So this S I could live without.

As I nurse my cold I’m trying my hardest to stay positive, and work through the cold in order to meet a to weight goal, at which time I am going to treat myself to this:

lulu awesomeThe entire outfit will be mine ;-) lululemon really does hold the key to my heart.  I have so many motivations to be healthy and fit.  A few of my MANY reasons I live the way I do?  I want to set a good example for my son, part of me is also vain and wants to look good in clothing, part of it makes me entirely gitty and I like to further motivate myself by buying new technical pieces…. Newest additions?  An insanely orange striped cool racerback and a new bright yellow run jacket.

I’m. in. love.

What motivates you?  What centers you?  Most of the “s”s above minus the sniffles really help me deal with that S that sticks around in my life too much… Stress.

How do you wind down these days???  Anyone ever tried StitchFix?!  <3

 

 

8 Months – Mr. Independent

Honestly, I feel like I just wrote is 7 month post.  My mom keeps mentioning how it felt like my pregnancy took years and now, at 8 months old it feels like it has been a day since Evan was born.  Honestly, time flies, it is just too crazy how quickly days go by.  Luckily, each day I fall more in love my little Evan, he is the light of my life and I’m so happy I get to share him with the world.

So Mr. 8 months is thriving, and continuing to make me crazy proud.

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He is just amazing in every way.  At this stage he is definitely more and more independent *cries* not as cuddly as he once was, he will turn in your arms and grunt because he wants to scoot around the floor.  He still indulges me from time to time, like when he is exhausted, he will place his head on my shoulder and I. Melt.

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He keeps us so entertained with his babbling and his slobbery kisses, he will place his open mouth on your cheek for kisses… it is so slobbery but so awesome.  On the night before his 8 month of life celebration I honestly felt like I splashed water all over my face THAT’S how much he loves me, tons and tons of slobbery kisses.

This month you have been eating loads of things, and we bought you your big boy carseat *cries* .

Dear Evan,

How did we get here?  You are not by little squishy baby anymore.  Father time has really played mean tricks on me.  It seemed like everything in my life before you was slow motion.  Honestly, days seemed longer – 15 minutes sounded like an eternity compared to now.  (and there is that ache in the back of my throat, the one followed by those watery eyes…) It still amazes me how priorities change when you have a baby.  Evan, mommy can’t even go to the Bulls game without wanting to rush home to you!  She has a serious case of separation anxiety!! I really cannot stress how much I want to be with you when time allows.  I’m working a lot these days and spending a lot of time away.  I know it is good for you, you are making relationships with other people and brightening other people’s days but the selfish person in me, wants you all to myself. All. to. myself.

I simply cannot stress how proud I am of you.  You are beautiful and healthy and the most wonderfully energetic lively sweet baby.  You really can sprint now when you crawl.  Just like in the movies where the parents run after the baby, that is what we do with you!  You have TONS of toys, way too many, a product of those who love you and want to spoil you to pieces you have a stash at home, at Grandma’s and and Abuleta’s house.  But you much rather play with mommy’s Amazon boxes and her hoodie strings or her plate of food, coffee mug… you are so slick ;-)  You LOVE standing.  You will pull yourself up in your pack and plays and just stand there chewing on the edge and staring at people, you can do this and entertain yourself for 10-15 minutes at a time, it is super cute.

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You are also just a ladies man, you are such a cute little flirt.  New this month?  You want momma!  I mean you really want momma.  I must say, I love this.  I love that you show affection to others but I also love that you feel safe with me, you cry for me and you are iffy around strange people.  It is an amazing feeling when you reach for me, when you are sad that you want me to hold you… When you are tired you want me rock you.  I love it, I live for it.

As you know, I’m still nursing you.  I pump 3 times a day for you (yuck, but SO worth it) – one morning I pumped very little for you, you were still sleeping.  I was so disappointed (it was right before I left for work) – I picked you up, and held you in my disappointment because I knew it would remind me why I do this, so I picked you up you scrunched like when you were a newborn and I melted.  My eyes filled with tears and we sat in your room, on the glider just cuddling together I wish I could have spent hours with you there.  I tried to burn this in my memory so I will never forget how amazing it feels to have you in my arms, asleep, so peaceful, so handsome.  The whole world could have been exploding and I would not have noticed, all that mattered at that moment was you and I and our precious time together.

Sometimes I just stop and think, how did this happen?  How are you mine?  I just cannot fathom life without you my little man.  I love you, so much.  Now I’m going to go cuddle with you and your little babbling self (I can hear you in the bedroom with daddy, Sunday cuddle time and I want in ;-) )

Love,

Mommy

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Being Productive – Ready, Go!

So this past week was so busy, I don’t even know where the week went.  My little nugget is 8 months old (update post to follow, of course), I bought all the gifts for his Easter basket on amazon, and only got a few things on my to-do list done.  We did go to the Bulls game on Monday and it was awesome.

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Today I was up early like always, did Evan’s 8 month mini photo shoot, put together a grocery list, took him to an appointment at his pediatrician’s office and stopped at one of my favorite places to spend my paycheck… Whole Foods.

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We bought a bunch of baby goodies to make for the week:  brown rice pasta, oats, beets, spinach, broccoli, peas, mango, blueberries, yogurt, carrots, butternut squash, avocados and pears.  My pocket does cry when I leave that place but I’m still trying my hardest to give him the best I can.

I got home to a few packages, the only way I shop these days is online.  I’m sure the UPS or FedEx guy wonders if I ever leave the house due to my Amazon app. shopping addiction oh and the “We Made Too Much” page at lululemon, somehow I can justify the price if it is on that page….

But I also came home to a lovely package from a wonderfully thoughtful momma in my July 2012 mom’s group:

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I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!  My best has written a bit about her use of essential oils and I’ve always gone down the whole foods isle at Whole Foods and browsed all of the little bottles stacked there but was a bit intimidated and never sure what to get so this sampling is going to be awesome!  My stress level has been through the roof and with my rib injury I haven’t let out enough steam lately so I’m really excited to try out some of these and see how  I feel.  My favorite things are alternative methods of dealing with stress, anxiety and energy pick ups, my family has been a fan of acupuncture for the longest and yoga is OBVIOUSLY my thing so I think this essential oil tool is a natural progression of healthy living.

For today, I’m going to focus on cleaning my home, and making it to a yoga class.

What is something new you want to try!? Any awesome essential oil tricks, fav. mixes?

Recovery: Little things for me.

I’ve been in a major funk lately as far as my personal life goes (i.e. me.  just me, not Hector and I, not Evan and I, not friends and I, not work and I – just I).  A huge part of it was my rib injury which I am still nursing.  Unreal.  Again, I wish I had a good story, alas I don’t.   This actually might go a bit beyond that.  I haven’t been taking any time for me.

Sure, I have bought a few supplemental pieces to my wardrobe, and gone to target and spent way too much money on things, but none of it was completely selfish.  Everything I have bought recently has been for Evan or the house.  Do I love buying for these two purposes, of course.  However, my hair, my eyebrows, my sanity… Haven’t had any time.  Again with my injury, my workouts have suffered.  Last night, I pulled out the weights and spent 15 minutes of pure awesomeness just loving weights again.

I struggle with being away from my little dude.  It isn’t because I think anyone is going to think I’m a bad mom if I’m away from him, quiet the contrary, I could really care less what other people think about how I parent.  As long as feel I’m doing the best I can do, and he is a happy healthy thriving baby… what more can I ask for?  Still, being away from him when I don’t have to be is super tough and because of that, I’m suffering in some important parts of my life… like workout world.  I can feel the lbs adding up and I refuse to step on the scale because I really feel like my dreams will be crushed.  So I’m taking baby steps and working it back into my routine since my ribs are FINALLY starting to feel better (still achy, totally achy and sore to the touch, but I can lift my arms and breath without pain, win!).

Anywho, this week a goal of mine is to make time for me.  Starting with, tonight.  I’m going to my first Bulls game of the season with a few of my favorite people while my little guy hangs at home with grandma.
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Other goals I have this week:

Go for a run, in the cold with Oso
Make it to a yoga class
Make an eye appointment
Take a detox bath
Set up a massage appointment for my mom and I

Here is to an excellent start to the week.
Happy Monday!

My Deepest Fear

So now that life for us just seems to move full speed, everyday.  Once a day I try to center myself and meditate.  However, finding the time to take care of myself has become increasingly difficult.  I love my new job, but the hours are absolutely longer then my previous (when you include commute) and its hard to adjust to getting everything done.  Luckily, last weekend something awesome happened – day light savings time.   Light and warmth gives me so much more energy then cloudy cold days, which is strange because if you would have asked me that question a year and a half ago it would have been quiet the opposite.  I loved those days because those days I would spend HOURS in the gym, taking my time, learning new ways to be fit.  Now, however… not so much.  I’d rather cuddle with my baby who I haven’t seen all day.

With that said.

Yesterday evening I ran to Target (the place that consumes 80% of my paycheck) alone, no baby, no Hector, not even the radio.  Because my niece was sleeping over (we were celebrating her 7TH! Birthday!!) and I couldn’t stand the idea of her wearing regular clothes to bed. So off to target I went ;-)

aliyah bdaySee my brother in the background thinking “dear God, she is 7!?!”

Anyway, I’ve notice I do a lot of thinking in the car and since I take the train to my new job I concentrate on things like my Amazon app or my new favorite books (I’m reading Relic, per my best friend and still trying to get through the Lost Symbol -something crazy happened in it and through my devastation I haven’t picked it up in about a week) and not so much on what is going on in life.  Back to topic, so I was thinking on my way home on how when you become a parent how things change.  How your mindset changes, how things that were so important to you are not as important or how things you feared at one time you do not fear as much.  Or when you were more concerned about your St. Patrick’s day outfit, not your niece’s pajamas.  Even though Hector, Joey and I were planning on going out for a drink for St. Patrick’s day (which, naturally at the last minute I bailed and said I’d watch Aliyah and Evan – we all laid in bed together and watched a movie – a really great evening in my opinion right now, because that is where I am right now – momma mode).

Then I thought about Evan.  A sudden panic came to me, deep deep deep in my soul.

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These days, he is simply blissful about 98% of the time.  He really hasn’t experienced hurt yet, besides banging his head into walls, slipping and slightly face planting, you know, the normal physical ouchies that come with becoming mobile (I’ve learned as a parent, you can’t stop every slip but I still dart after him like a bat out of hell).  That isn’t the pain I’m taking about anyway, barring SERIOUS SERIOUS injuries… Children fall, scrape knees and elbows… but they heal and the only thing that ever lingers are skin scars that have (sometimes) cool/funny/scary but good ending stories to them.  But then, I thought of the hurt he can possibly face in the future like:

Being made fun of
Fear, real true fear…
Real bad guys, that he may encounter when I’m not with him
Heartache
Failure
Disappointment
Embarrassment
Awkward years

The things above can’t usually be fixed with a gentle hug, a cool bandaid, and an “shh shh, it is ok my little love, mommy is here”

Up until now, a lot of mother things have come very natural to me.  But I realized that the really challenging motherhood hasn’t really started yet.  Last night, Evan was exhausted and I had to change him before bed, when I took him out of my arms and placed him on the changing table he started to cry, not that cry that is an annoyed cry but a cry with tears like “mommy don’t leave me” tears and my heart simply broke, how will I ever gain the strength to deal with those emotional moments in his life when he needs me to be his rock?  It may come someday, but in all my life I have never feared anything more then fearing not being a good parent who can take away all his pain (I know, impossible) but I’m the one who cries at TV shows when a fake character dies, or becomes heartbroken… Evan is my son, so if I get sad when I see a little boy’s fear on TV or when I hear about tragedies in families – how will I deal with it with Evan?  His pain is my pain.  

My best friend’s grandfather past away last weekend.  I remember reading about it and feeling that physical ache of loss, I didn’t know him but I love my friend and remember that heartache of loss and I hurt for her.  I remember when it happened to me there was nothing anyone could say or do to relieve the pain, but I remember the support of friends and family was helpful but that pain is still there.  Even thinking back on the happy moments with loved ones that have passed is painful.  To this day I can’t think about my grandpa without tears coming to my eyes.  Which further instills fear in me, because I don’t want my best friend to deal with that, let alone my little Evan the thought of him feeling like that is almost crippling to me… I know it is unavoidable but I still really don’t know how I will deal with it.  I guess it is lucky for me that he won’t realize this pain for some time (hopefully!!) and I will learn on ways to manage.

When Evan was first born people told me it would be hard, most told me it would be worth it but that it would be challenging… Thus far, it really hasn’t been challenging but all of the above… that will be very challenging for me.   All people are different but this is what is going to be challenging… for sure… without a doubt.

There is no real reason to this post then to share my fear, my deepest fear.  To write it down so it will hopefully sting a little less once an a while.

With all this said… Hug you friends, your family, your animals and your children a little tighter.  Try to enjoy everything, because, honestly, life is too short to be anything but happy.  There is enough pain in this world, and I know stress, pain, and the feeling of loss is relative, it changes from person to person – same way as happiness but I know at least for me… I want to focus on the happy and process, appreciate and let go of the fear an frustration in the most expedited way possible.  For me… This helps:

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Starting Solids and Super Sidelined.

While I was pregnant I remember being only truly regularly afraid of one thing: not being able to breastfeed.  Sure labor and delivery anxieties would sneak in there from time to time but I remember being completely afraid and anxious over nursing.  I even shared my fears with my one of my best friends, one who had successfully nursed her son for a whole year.  My goal was six months exclusive nursing and a dream goal was a year of nursing before we weaned.  Then it happened, one day I woke up and Evan was 6 months old.  It was a goal I was incredibly proud of and we didn’t have too many hitches along the way a couple clogged milk ducts (had one yesterday!), one bout of mastitis (sucked!!!), several pumping sessions a day (not my favorite way to spend my time…), and a few uncomfortable days in the beginning – this sounds like a list of complaints, but it really isn’t each day I continue to nurse Evan I feel extremely proud of myself and him.  However a week or so after his 6 month birthday I decided that it was time to introduce some solids and I must say it has been fun!

Evan’s first real food was introduced on Super Bowl Sunday and the lucky food was…. AVOCADOS! Since then we have done a ton of other veggies and fruits including: sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, apples, bananas, sweet peas and Evan’s favorite zucchini:

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Just kidding, he didn’t enjoy that one too much.  Next time I’m going to cook it with a bit of sweet coconut oil and maybe he will like it a bit better… haha

We are still holding off on some grains because I’ve done some research and want to wait on it but we have been successfully cooking for our little dude via my new bamboo steamer:

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I am using a cook book for now, but this all seems very second nature and makes sense.  I was so freaked about giving solids and as he gets older I’m feeling more confident about it. He has been given mostly organic, but I’ve also let him try melons while out at our favorite cafe and although I know they buy a lot local when in season I honestly don’t know if what I gave him was organic and you know what? I’m ok with that.  I’m going to try to give him only organic but I’m not going to be a freak about it, many many babies have lived off of terrible processed foods and became healthy adults so I have back peddled a bit on my “organic only” rule. 

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Now for the momma, this momma has been a slight mess.

First it started off as a cold, a severe cold about 3 weeks ago.  We are talking that horrible cough, crazy sniffles, sore throat, body aches… everything.  But the coughing kept me up at night, the anxiety I would get Evan sick (which he didn’t! that momma’s milk is amazing…) and my dwindling supply *sigh* it was rough.  I’m not one to complain too much but just when I started feeling better BAM about a week ago I noticed a dull pain on my right side…

That dull pain turned into the worst pain.  I had pretty badly bruised my rib from coughing so much.  Lifting my arm, breathing!!!, walking, twisting… EVERYTHING hurt.  Picking up Evan OUCHIE!  It has been the worst.  So with all my sick anxiety then this rib injury *sigh*

I have been workout sidelined.  I try to strech it out and one day last week I thought “Oh, I’ll do some lower body” – well the next day I paid for it.  The horrible thing about a core injury is that you use your core for EVERYTHING… So I’m on strict orders to… heal. 

Thanks for being my venting sesh.  Anyone starting babies on soilds?  What was your baby’s first food?  Anyone dealing with injuries? I wish I had a cool story to go with my injured ribs like “Oh, I was just playing some hockey” or “I went up for a layup and got closelined in the rib” but no my story is “I had a terrible cough for two weeks” lol

So the only one perfecting their downward facing dog and practically planking like a pro in this little family unit is this cutie:

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7 Months

My sweet baby boy is now 7 months old.

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And on 2/20/2013 he out of now where – started to crawl.  So he is now:

Crawling
Standing
Laughing
Smiling
Eating solids &
Still melting my heart every single day & simply amazing in every way.

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Needless to say, he is growing crazy fast.  He is 19 lbs and 29 1/2 inches of pure lovableness.

Dear Evan:

I remember when you were only a few weeks old.  I remember cuddling and thinking to myself, “I’m so blessed, this is so amazing” – I also remember crying quiet a bit about you growing so quickly.  I remember telling grandma how I wanted time to slow down and asking my best friend if I would remember everything.  I didn’t want to forget any special moments.  I wanted to soak it all in and remember it all.  While I can’t remember it all, I remember that you fit so perfectly in my arms and I feared for the day (and still do) that you would not want to cuddle in my arms anymore.  Luckily, this month is not that month.  Even though you are so much bigger you still fit seamlessly in my arms and on my chest, you are like my perfect little puzzle piece. This month you ask for me, and hold your arms out and reach for me. (Cue the water works tissue time) You cry for me when you are tired, scared or a little unhappy… and I must say I love it.

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Our lives have been flipped upside down in the past month, in a great way.  I finally started a new job, we bought this house, and through this whole adjustment you have been simply amazing.   You are my new constant.  I walk into the room after a long day and the light of excitement that crosses your face is just such a wonderful heartwarming moment… I can’t even explain the joy, there are no words that can do it justice.

What else is new this month?  You are eating!  That is right, we made it through six months of exclusive breastfeeding and started you out on some solids this month.  You have some favorites and some not-so favorites.  You LOVE sweet potatoes, bananas and carrots you are way less of a fan of zucchini but you do enjoy avocado with a bit of momma’s milk mixed in.  Its fun giving you new things, but again I just cannot believe how quickly this creeped up on us.

You still love bathtime, we pulled out the boon floaties and you enjoy chewing them ;-) you love all your toys and play well all by yourself.  Your new thing is crawling and you can get around better and better each day.

We love you our sweet angel, I’m so proud of you… Every day.

Love,

Mommy

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You continue to be the best part of my day.  I love you more then you will ever know.

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