Halloween!

Well even though I wasn’t as festive this year as I have been in previous years, this holiday is still a favorite and I hope to enjoy a nice day at work followed by some quality time with my pumpkins <3

Tis the season:

But really, next year – it is going to be on.  Because my little pumpkin will be walking… We are totally talking spider webs, spooky trees and tons of pumpkins:

 

Home really is where your heart is.

In my life I have been lucky enough to always have a “home” or really move somewhere and lay roots.  My childhood was filled with fond memories of our home as children.  We had it all – a huge backyard, with an awesome swing set, a huge pool, massive parties (a couple wedding parities, seriously) and so many memories… great memories.

My twin brother, Joey. Little sister, Nicole and the best dog in the world, Rocco (our family German Shepard – Oso has HUGE paws to fill)

When I was in 5th grade we moved to my grandma’s building, a two flat in the city.  A huge difference from our first home.  We stayed here until I we were done with grammar school.  Again, we made roots, tons of friends and enjoyed lots of family company… It was the hub. We loved it.  We got to know our grandparents so well – a gift that cannot be replaced by anything.

Greatest Grandparents Ever (2008) – Grandpa is grunting at this photo from heaven. <3

Then my mom bought a house back near our first neighborhood.  Just in time for Joey and I to go to high school.  Another place that I will forever call home.  My mom still lives there, but so do I practically.  Our high school years were packed, basketball games, club activities, friends… More activities, you know how teenage years go.  This is also where I met my husband, the place where we had our baby shower, the area I trained for my first marathon, and where we plan to buy our first home.  My mom hates her home, but if I could afford to buy it, it’d be mine.  ;-)

Then I moved in with my future husband.  I was pretty young, but I’d like to think I made good decisions back then (and still do, I mean we are married, aren’t we?) and for the first time in HIS life, we stayed put.  In the first couple years of Hector and I dating he moved like five times in two years.  This was such a crazy concept to me, I simply didn’t understand the jump around.  They stayed in the same area but never lived in one place for very long.  So he had never really felt connected to a certain place, until he moved into his first apartment.  He lived there for a while, then I moved in and we stayed put for four years.  That was his first home, until life came full circle, my grandfather passed away and we moved back to my grandma’s building (a second go for me).  We have lived here for three years already.  It is home, but it isn’t our dream place or space.  But this place was our first move together, just him and I.  We got engaged here, adopted a puppy, got married and had a baby here.  Why am I talking about this?  Because it is a very real possibly we won’t be here too much longer.

Yesterday I spent the day here with my little man, and I’ve never felt so attached.  I grew up in this home, and my son was born here.  This will be his first home, which he will never remember but I will remember the first day home with him, forever.  Bringing him upstairs, placing his carseat on the floor and taking him out.  Being so exhausted that we cuddled up on the couch and fell asleep.

So although this isn’t our dream home, it is home.  I’m already sad at the thought of leaving with all the memories we packed here in such a short time.  Although moving isn’t for sure just yet, it really isn’t too far away.

I sorta want to hug the walls.  They have kept my baby safe and warm <3

 

Halloweenish

Usually this time of year my home is filled with way too many pumpkins, tons of gourds and the smell of fall.

This year, I’m spending so much time with this pumpkin that I’m sort of behind:

Evan’s pumpkin costume for Halloween!  He is too small for most costumes but he has this and the giraffe <3

I think a huge part of being so far behind is that I’m simply so head over heals into everything for the baby and returning to work, he hasn’t yet clicked that it is FALL and HALLOWEEN is RIGHT around the corner!!  Geez!

We did get some of this in last weekend:

 

Pumpkin carving with the family!  Toasted pumpkin seeds are a favorite of mine, but I only like them while they are warm and straight out of the oven.  I do salt them, so the next day I was feeling a bit bloated… Pretty sure it was my seed over-load.  But it was worth it ;-)

We also got in some family photos:

And just as I post these from last weekend, we are already jumping into a NEW weekend!

I’m going to get some more pumpkins and a few gourds.  I’m going to also try my hand at making my own pumpkin puree so we can do some sort of pumpkin flavored goodie!

I wish I could stay but I have to run!

xoxo

 

 

Ninja

Whenever you are blue, put on the tunes and jam.

I had some negativeness in the brain yesterday, all day.  It is absolutely draining and totally not worth it, if you can avoid it.  What did I do about it?  Sob to a friend, who always listens and gives great advice.  Stew in it for a bit.  Slept on it.  This morning?  Woke up on the right side the bed.

Opened itunes.  Clicked Florence & the Machine and danced like a crazy while getting ready.  Verdict?

(source)

I ninja kicked that negative crap right out of the brain.  It is so. not. healthy.  There are so many positive things in my life, and I trust that things will just work out.  I’m entitled to moments of sadness, but they shouldn’t consume my life and I’m totally not doing that anymore.  So today I’m going to jam it out, strech it out and run it out.

My mind ninja is cleaning house today.  I’m going to snuggle with this presh baby:

Give my hubby some love:

and smile at the future because those two, and my friends and family aren’t going anywhere – and THAT is enough to make my heart sing.

Sure, that stuff that needs to get done, and I will make steps to clean all of it up, but those things cannot change overnight.  I just need to make strides to correct the things in life that make me slightly unhappy and move on.

happy. thoughts.

Happy Thursday, friends.  Tonight = football, Vampire Diaries, snuggle time and a sweatfest for yours truly.

xoxo

 

 

 

My Love

Today I’m just so grateful for this man:

My husband.

It has been exactly one year since we said those famous “I Dos”

I have no doubt that this will be the first of many happy years of marriage.

After all, he is my soul mate.  My best friend and my forever.

Best part?  Even if we are doing nothing, we have a good time.

I love you my dear husband!

xoxo

P.S. Like my photographer – on facebook!

While you are at it… Like me! 

3 Months

Well.  Here we are, with another month update.

I’ll say this every time, but how am I doing this update already?  Time has, as if it was possible, sped up even more.  I’m not sure if it is because I’m back at work or that we are buying a house, or a mixture of the two?  It could just be that a baby makes you hyper aware of just how fast time flies.

So this month has been fun.  Evan is a super happy little guy.  His favorite activities include:  bathtime, smiling, cuddling, tying to giggle, standing up (assisted but he always straightens his legs), talking, smiling some more, when I sing “twinkle twinkle little star” (ah, he must love me), and more smiling.  He is just a joy to be around, and loves conversations   He also loves his Baby Eisenstein videos and little piano grandma bought him.

We have serious conversations these days, he has so much personality.  He loves to wrap his fingers in my hair and has drooling down.  He is starting to chew on his paci instead of sucking on it.  He is an absolute angel, and a little ladies man.

Oh and he loves eating his hands:

Dear Evan:

Today you are three months old.  You are a complete joy in my life.  I started working again a couple weeks ago, and the HARDEST thing I HAVE EVER had to do, was be away from you for a few hours at a time.  I feel like a piece of me is missing when I’m away from you.  But!  Grandma Luz loves you lots and you are getting lots of quality time with Auntie Nancy and Uncle Josh, they all love you to pieces.

This month I have noticed just how much you absorb everyday.  You are alert, you follow things, you know your name and I swear you have full-on conversations with me.  You get excited to watch Baby Eisenstein videos with Grandma Debbie and love your little piano.  Grandpa Joe has a funny way of keeping you calm with little effort, and you like when he tells everyone “He is really saying HI!  He knows words but just can’t say them yet” – I told you he thinks you will be President, my little genius.  Today the camera has been in your face all day, I apologize, but I just feel I need to capture every second, because you grow a half an inch an hour.  You are SO strong!  Everyone comments on how they can’t believe your age because of your alertness and strength (it was all the baby pushups ;-) ).

My emotional breakdowns happen every other day now, which is much improved.  Why breakdowns?  Because I have never experienced days that fly by so quickly.  I wake up, see you, and suddenly the day is over.  HOW. DOES. THAT. HAPPEN.  Gone are the days I’d wish away, thanks to you.  I love every second of every day when I’m with you.  That is probably why work is so hard, but those seconds away I’m just focusing on how I’ll get to see you ;-)

This month is a special month.  October 2011 was crazy!  Marathon, Married, Conception, New Job.    This year is no different, Back to Work, New House, New Baby.  Daddy and I are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary with you in our arms.  How special is that?

I love you, with all your drooly faces, sweet baby kisses and even poopy diapers.  You are amazing in every single way.  Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more, I do.  Thank you for coming into my life little dude.

Love,
Mommy

Post Baby Body – 3 Months

So lots of things are going on over here.  When life gets cray, it is good to slow down, take a deep breath and soak up the moment.

It is crazy how life changes when you have a baby, and I’m not just talking about the baby in your arms but the emotional side of things… Your outlook on things.  When you are the mother, the physical changes are hard to ignore, as well.

9/26/12 mornings with my beeb <3

I’m sort of beating myself up for not taking more before and after pictures of my baby body both while prego and now post-prego.  My body was insanely good to me during pregnancy.  It did all the things it needed to do with such grace.  It is a really amazing thing.  I got super lucky with how I carried and was able to keep a healthy diet throughout.  It wasn’t until after the bambino that I had any cravings (hence, the TJs 73% cacao chocolate bar I’m snacking on) so loosing the baby weight has been super slow.  I have days that are harder then others, where I look at my body and think ugh.  But overall, I’m happy with where I’m at and OK with the slow weight loss.  I think a major part of that “OKness” is because I’m still breastfeeding.  I try to always make healthy choices but sometimes I give in to my chocolate cravings.  Even though I am now (as of this am!!!) at my pre-pregnancy weight, my body HAS A WAYS TO GO.  This is evidenced by this photograph:

Almost EXACTLY a year to the day (tomorrow will be exactly one year) – my wedding.  I was very fit in this photograph (not my most fit, and probably a few lbs over my “normal” weight).  I carried a TON more muscle mass than I currently do, which is why I know that the pre-prego weight thing isn’t really achieved yet (muscle weighs more then fat).  So many people look at the scale when they are trying to reach their fitness goals. I’m not one of those people.  It isn’t even how my clothes fit, it is how I feel even though I’m religious with checking my weight when I look in the mirror I know things are softer.  My hips are slightly wider and my love handles are much more prominent.  This photograph was taken yesterday:

So here I am, 3 months postpartum with my sweeties one in my arms, one at my feet and one behind the camera.  This isn’t the best picture, but you can see my love handles and you can tell my arms aren’t as toned (thank God they aren’t flabby though! ;-) )

When I was pregnant a co-worker (another fitness junkie) asked me how long I was going to give myself to take off my pregnancy weight.  I told him 3 months.  I am almost there in some ways but so far away in others.  Looking back I should have told him 9 months.  After all, it took me 9 months to get to where I was, it is only fair I give myself that long to get back there.  If it takes longer, so be it.  Right now my body is still very much all for my baby.  He needs my arms to hold him, my chest to sleep on, and the awesome food I give him.  These days with him are short, he will be an independent little guy before I know it, and won’t be looking for my comforting arms as much, so if I cut workouts short for the time being, I’m totally OK with that because I can’t get the seconds with him at this age back again.

What did I do to loose the weight?  Clean eats, moderate-light exercise.  It really is all about diet and exercise.  Being aware of what you put in your body is key.  LOTS and LOTS of water and tea (Tj’s decaffeinated green tea and mother’s milk and chamomile when I have stress moments/headaches).  I try to do a warm lemon water mix in the am and add a bit of lemon to my water during the day (if I remember the lemon).  Even if I can’t get a full workout in I make sure to get in something, everyday.  Even if it is just 20 or so pushups (with breaks, I’m working on my pushups again) and some ab work or stretching – Oh and plenty of baby arm curls (see pic above ;-) )

For a comparison here is me, the day after baby and three weeks after baby (a little sleep deprived and sitting down so hard to see but you can see the belly sorta – I told you we were bad at pictures and by we I mean the hubs because I have a thousand pictures of him and Evan):

I’ve told you that I’m big on goals.  Well, Hector and I are reevaluating our goals this weekend and by when dates.  When it comes to myself physically (we do personal, physical and career goals) I’m totally giving myself a break for the short term (my 5 year goal is still to run a handful of 13.1′s or at least 1 marathon or triathlon and money permitting take a yoga-teaching course for the experience).  I think I kept some of this weight on a little longer, simply because of stress.  By putting too much pressure to take the weight off, and by being so nervous about work and buying a home.  Needless to say one of my daily personal goals is to – stress less but my Type-A personality makes that a lot easier said then done.

For my next update, my gym member ship will be active once again and I’m making it a point to take more pictures. ;-)

Sweetest Day Saturday

I hope you all had a sweet sweetest day!  Ours was off to a busy start:

Up at at’em early to trek over to the [hopefully] new casa, we got in a few sweetie day photos first:

It seems like every year for the past couple years, I have added a sweetie.  First it was Hector, then Oso, now I also have Evan.  Pretty sweet if you ask me.

Hector and I enjoyed some coffee and then were off:

The inspection at the house went pretty well.  I LOVE our Realtor  any time I spend with her is a good time.  She keeps telling us how excited she is that we found something so nice in our price range.  It  really is a good starter home.  Things can always fall through with Short-Sales so we still have our fingers crossed it will work out.  There are some fixes that need to be done, but when you buy an older home that is to be expected.

We meant to carve these bad boys today:

But, they will live to see another complete pumpkin day, because we spent a lot of time with this pumpkin, instead:

It is crazy to think that almost exactly a year ago, he was starting to be baked and now he is here with us, happy as a clam and enjoying his first Halloween pajama set.  Our little Gap kid, his hat? I die. Too cute.  Daddy even got in some naptime with him today:

I mean really, could life get much better than this?  I don’t think so.

Evan was in such a good mood today, so we just enjoyed him.  Hector and I also snuck out of grandma’s house to grab some groceries for the week.  Our short little date was special, he even held my hand ;-) — Weekends together are rare, so we really try to make sure we enjoy them as much as we can even though they are always filled with running around.  There is no one I’d rather run around with though.  He’s a good time.

Evan’s 13 weeks old today.  How did that happen?  Tomorrow is his 3 month old birthday.  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?  So I’ll be updating with some teary moments…

Today I was looking at videos of him at around two weeks old and I was sad and happy.  Sad because he has grown so much and happy, because he has grown so much.  I think only other parents can understand that.

We are really loving life over here when we are all together.  Being at work is still so hard but I just try to soak up my little guy as much as I can, these moments are fleeting.

A Love Story

Christmas 2003.

That is when I met this guy:

I can’t find any 2003-04 Pictures – But this was 07 — I knew right then he was a keeper! This is him with my niece <3

I knew he was way out of my league.  I was a tomboy basketball player and he was a pretty boy, done with High School dude.  His brothers went to school with me and my very good friend Jasmine was dating his brother, Josh.  Who knew an awkward hello would turn into 8 years of a wonderful relationship.

After a big interview… He got the job!

We have so many memories together.  We met when I was a junior in high school and I moved in with him pretty young.  No one else believed me, but I knew I had found the one.

Hector is amazing.  He is truly my best friend, soul mate and the love of my life.  We were prom dates:

Prom!

Roommates:

 

We became Auntie (Tia) Jenny and Uncle (Tio) Hector (x5!  Aaliyah, Izabel, Jayden, Jackson and Natalie):

We have celebrated many holidays together:

 

Birthdays:
Countless events, like graduations and ceremonies:

A puppy:

 

More birthdays, more holidays, more memories… Finally, an engagement:

 

Many goals have been discussed and accomplished, and long talks about the future.  We also tied the knot:

Like I said, we have been through a lot.  Ups and downs, new life and the end of life.  We have made amazing friends, lost loved ones… He is my rock, always there.

We also have had an abundance of blessings and some unexpected twists:

 

We have survived it all.  We have grown.  I can’t imagine my life without him.  He truly is family.  My family loves him more then they love me ;-) and that is ok because he really is that special.

This is just a post about love.  I’m feeling nostalgic because our one year wedding anniversary is coming up.  It has been an amazing life with him so far, and I look forward to growing old with him.  He isn’t only my husband anymore, he is the father of my son.  We have a dog together and a home together.  It has been a long road that feels so short, yet I can’t remember life without him.  We started dating when I was 17 – how the heck did 8 1/2 years fly by?

They have been amazing… Now to go snuggle with my hubs! [and the baby and Oso of course!]

 

Memory

So we are into week two of being back at work.  What have I noticed?  Time goes by too quickly.  My sweet baby is just growing before my eyes and all I can focus on are his cute moments and how I want to remember them all.

— Like this, my first? second? day with my sweet baby sleeping on my chest at the hospital – hospital=blur I just remember there was lots of joy and love.

Isn’t memory a crazy thing?  How certain smells can remind you of a time, how a song can evoke memories from the past?

I have always been someone who is in tune with their senses.  Maybe because my eyes are so bad, everything else works so well.  I can dig through a pile of laundry and know exactly what shirt I am looking for by touch.  The song “Baby Boy” will always remind me of Miggie’s old house in EP and hanging out at her house after school.  So many old songs remind me of very exact moments or periods of my life.  This might be everybody, who knows, I just know that my senses are like a storybook.

My house ALWAYS smells like the seasons.  I’m addicted to candles and they must match the season.  Pumpkin spice and falling leaves in the fall, balsam pine (omg, I die) in the winter, springy flowers in the spring and melons in the summer.

When I got pregnant my senses went into super crazy hyper drive, I was so sick that I can remember not liking loun for a while, the touch on my skin reminded me how sick I was.  The SMELL of a certain laundry detergent (TIDE sport) STILL bothers me because I wore it when my pregnant senses were screaming “this smells bad, you want to puke!!” and I almost would cry when Hector would say “You smell good!” because that smell never seemed to want to wash out of my clothes (we have since switched to free and clear and will never go back).  I still have a great distaste for that smell, but THANKFULLY love my loun once again.

Day before I had my little baby! <3

Where am I going with this?  Today I asked a friend if she could remember everything about her son, as he is growing.  I knew she couldn’t, but I almost wish she said yes.  When I went for lunch to nurse Evan today, I remember holding him and looking at him (like I have done many times so far in his life) and hoping that I would remember just how small he was, how his hand would pound my chest.  I hoped I would remember that he had the same outfit in newborn and three months and how he once fit in the newborn size and now fits so snugly into the 3 month size.  I hope that I remember how nice he fit in my arms.  I know I’ll remember that today was the say I noticed he is getting far too long, and his legs dangle far away from my body.  His new thing is to push away from me with his strong legs (he’s a ninja), he gets upset because he pushes his body away from me and doesn’t realize he is the one causing this.

I do what?! ;-) My little ninja

I need to be better at writing things down.  I know I’ll be grateful that I have my blog diary but even little moments with Evan I want to remember.  All of my pregnancy moments feel so faded already.  I KNOW that I would stare at my belly and tell myself, this isn’t going to last forever, take it in…  As I rubbed lotion on my belly tonight I realized it really isn’t noticeable I had a baby in there.  Sure there is a little excess fat and my skin isn’t as tight but I notice it a bit tighter by the day (thank you firming lotion!).  I’m of course grateful for this, that my body took pregnancy so well but at the same time I’m sad that I didn’t relish a little more in the wonderful moments of carrying my beautiful baby in there. I’m not beating myself up, I just remember that if there is a next time I know what to do to keep my body and baby healthy – I’m going to enjoy every single second of my baby bump next time.

Some awesome resent memories?

- Buddy walk [fail] and 30 seconds with my best and her family.

- A Saturday spent at home, with my baby cuddled in my arms. ALL.DAY. It was perfection. Absolute perfection.

- 30 seconds of private time with the hubby.  I nice long hug – we need to remember to get some us time.  He is a favorite though, Iove him tons.

- Evan’s new “I want to laugh, but I scream” moments. Melt. My. Heart.

- This morning’s coffee, in my favorite coffee cup [love my sister]

Caffeinated beverages from heaven.

- an hour of “me” time this am, to finish a post and do some stretching   Now off to cuddle with my baby and finish getting ready for work.  I have to pop into TJs today for some pumpkins and squash.  Because it is about that time.

I’m a simple girl, who loves the simple things. Sure I freak out about many things, but I’m learning to release control and go with the flow a little more each day.  Who gives me that bliss?  My sweet baby who just wants to snuggle and my wonderful husband who still holds my hand.

My loves.

A huge part of living a healthy lifestyle is mental.  It is something that never should be neglected.  For me fitness helps me mentally – the pavement and yoga mat are my favorite forms of therapy   But you also have to love you life, and take time to cuddle.  Lately I don’t hate myself (like I use to) if I skip a workout to rock my baby to sleep, or if some of the dishes aren’t washed at night before I go to be Oh. Well. (hubby can do them in the morning) – Give yourself a break. Breathe. Enjoy every moment, and make lots of memories – Life flashes before our eyes. <3